http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 holding down the muse by her tail... Wed, 03 Dec 2008 07:40:19 +0000 a-n rss generator a-n The Artists Information Company and contributors edit@a-n.co.uk technical@a-n.co.uk http://sites.a-n.co.uk/img/logo.gif http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 (ORIGIN of Choreography: from Greek khoreia ‘dancing in unison’ (from khoros ‘chorus’ ) + -graphy )The catalyst for this installation is the divisive force with which I observe a great number of people responding to cultural identities that differ from the respective indigenous one.. So I am seeking out what is shared between and across cultures, unifying emblems of what make all of us equally human.. The project investigates specifically ritual movements made during devotional practices as these rituals are common to all faiths. The exact choreography differs, but like in any good performance on a stage, individual choreographies combine to a potentially holistic whole.. The grammar and composition used within dance is just as valid applied to life. For a harmonic performance a certain generosity and empathy towards fellow performers is required.These movements and rituals will be shown as a multi screen projection which explores the aesthetics of the endlessly repeated choreography that accompanies devotional practices. I am orchestrating a dance about cultural kinship.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 Regarding Progress:The exhibition is due to open in 9 days and it doesn't quite feel real yet. There is a mountain of work yet to be conquered.. I am clear now that I won't again entangle myself in another un-funded project like this. The costs have been phenomenal. I think it is hideous the way that we can be such good artists but then still find ourselves baffled by the task of fundraising. It's a bit of a defeat for me..But I am counting on that this project will be sufficient to raise my profile for future funding to find me (yes, I dream, but it is part of what brought me to the arts..)..And here is a quote I found when I researched Menschlichkeit / humanness:Wer den Hafen nicht kennt, in den er segeln möchte, für den ist kein Wind ein günstiger. Seneca, Philosoph (um 4 v.-65 n.u.Z.)(That is approximately:He who doesn't know which port he wants to sail to, for him no wind is favourable..)... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 It was mostly an art free day.Except for Plato who snuck under my duvet, so I read a discussion on knowledge in 'Theaetetus'.Tomorrow I will assemble loopers, order drive belts and spare lamps for the projectors. Then it is time to panick and pull several rabbits out of hats. I want to re-shoot the film.I am not happy with what I currently have. The show opens in just over a week at the Anglican Cathedral Liverpool... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 I am so grateful for the Tate online events archive! (http://www.tate.org.uk/onlineevents/archive/) Watching lectures stimulates, inspires and shakes one out of moments of nervous doubt. Other people take a shower to refresh while I listen to a lecture, read a book or a culture review... (Which could render me quite smelly... however...)This morning I by chance had an opportunity to speak to an artist from former Yuoslavia (not saying that qualifies him in any special way, however his responses did ..); and I feel back on track, all it took were a few words with a senior artist who has accrued some wisdom that can only come with the passing of time.And the sense of calm is restored.I am still pushing furniture, convincing myself that the repositioning of bulky items will clarify obstacles and questions in art.. It is bank holiday, sensible people put their feet up altogether.. Perhaps I will in future make work about leasure and sloth-ness; rather than moral and identity which are slippery fish..It started to rain outside: perfect conditions to get on with work. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 Today has been spent organising items for the show. Borrowing projectors, ordering spare parts, seeking out a few solutions to a few glitches.. Finding a carpenter to help with the making of screens and being invited to join another small project after I conclude this part of this one.Art is taking up a large part in my life, some friends are angry with me for not finding the time to be with them. I am a workaholic, I will die lonely.. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 The adrenalin is beginning to gather and flush through my arteries in increasing quantity.. Everything is due to go up on monday.. I have delegated the task of making my projection screen stands to a sculptor and am going to take a look at his work this morning. There is the sense of: "Have I got the passport !!!", is there something essential that I forgot ?Yesterday I had a meeting with one of the musicians who will perform one evening, marking the midpoint of the exhibition. Their performance will respond directly to the content of the work. So it will be an audio interplay of a holistic whole to a Babel like (musical) conflict between the individuals.I had an interesting conversation with a Buddhist yesterday, it refocused some of my attentions and brought back into the light the motivations with which I began this project....I will re-edit this later, only now I am getting indigestion trying to eat breakfast, write and look at my list of things to do.. Multitasking is for people with stronger stomachs..(Should you want to get in touch with me, then you can do it through this link... http://www.myspace.com/papersculptures ) ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 Time passes swiftly when you have a deadline speeding towards yourself... I started at 8am this morning, on what I thought would be a job that would consume an hour or two.. I finished at 14:00h... And this was just for the projector stands.My DIY-worker will hopefully have the screen stands ready for me by sunday when I will start putting the installation up at the Anglican Cathedral in Liverpool...The workmen at the Cathedral workshop are great, understated, competent and helpfull.I managed to find some semi opaque white/milky sheet plastic which hopefully will work for my projection screens.. And I got it for free from one of the local print workshops. These places are always worth checking on, as they otherwise only throw the end f rolls into the weekly rubbish. Sometimes they have unusual types of paper/plastic/acitate-type stuff on rolls..I can't reccomend other people's bins enough..Now I think I am for the most part set to open on monday. there will be no private view, these make me nervous, I need time to acclimatise to my own work, especially if it is an installation which is hard to feel a bond with unless I had a little time to look at it and contemplate..I am still waiting for film reels, without which I can't do anything at all, hopefully they will be in my letterbox tomorrow. Yesterday I got some motion sensors which didn't cost £70 but £5.99 each.. After being told that I would have to spend £70 I am now perplexed why mine were just a fraction of that, will they work? That will also be the first time that I do some wireing.... Perhaps this isn't a statement I should make so public, but I am excited about trying new things. And motion sensors which will activate the projectors when audience walks by, that is new and exciting for me.Well, now I am looking forward to see how the work in progress will work in the space. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 It's been quite a week.. I tested the projectors (4 are great but one has a speeding issue.. It likes to run through the film at 100mph, which isn't quite what I had in mind..), then finally cut my film down into the 5 sections, negotiated with the man to make the projector stands for me, which I am yet due to pick up this afternoon, bought some motion sensors to wire up to my projectors, spent a fair amount of time tireing myself out with nervousness and then some real tireing manual work in the wood workshop of the cathedral...The projectors are really very loud, I am not sure that this will be ok in the cathedral.. They will certainly draw attention to themselves.. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 I feel amazingly priviledged to be able to just devote weeks to making work, to being given such generous access to the cathedral, to being welcomed by all kinds of individuals along the way. I feel enormously lucky.The work itself is in progress, but I am much happier now. I put up the projector stands and projection screen stands as well as 3 of 5 projectors this evening and will need to go back in at 7am tomorrow to continue getting it all up and running...How it could have incured somewhere in the region of £2.500 in costs, I am not totally sure. Although I paid for some labour and the cot of materials and equipment is high.. Higher than one thinks, even when working out a budget in advance..To have the screen stands made came to almost £300 and you would fall off your chair if you saw them. They are made wonderfully well, but they are not a big presence in the space, an amateur may assume that they are worth £20... An amateur, mind you wouldn't have a clue... The stands really are well made. But £300 is such a sum of money out of an unfunded wallet...I am still nervous about promoting the show. I need a spokes person.. Any eloquent volunteers..? So from tomorrow you can come and view my latest nugget of achievement..The Anglican Cathedral Liverpool opening times are:from about 8am - 6pm daily.The exhibition will be open from Monday 14th of May until Monday 4th of June...So come, come, come.. And then please invite me to funded projects. Residencies, commissions, let Phaidon know that I am ready for their call.... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 Still setting up, it's all taking longer... Why does that seem familiar..?So here I am in the cathedral cafe and I am impressed that they have wireless broadband.However I better get back to trying to finish the settingup. One of the film looping devices is faulty... Which leaves me in a bit of a lurch. But after the initial inward distress I suppose there is no use in panicking any further, that won't fix it. All I can do is get on the phone and get the film lab through whom I got these to send another one...Did I say these were custom made...? (And VERY expensive..)I would like to take this opportunity to swear under my breath...Whilst looking benevolent.--------------------------------------------------------------Hours later: I worked out that the looping device is fine. Thank heavens for that! Still working, however...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 ok, I am going to cut out the laboured optimism... Here it is, straight and honest:...now I feel refreshed and human again (after a bath and short rest).But I don't think that I did a very god job with this exhibition. I am not happy about the amount of compromises I had to make. And I made a couple of ill fitting choices. I know that I like the aesthetic of re-used materials, why then did I use new ones?It's creating an incoherence within the already compromised work.Everyone is too nice about it all. It's obviously lovely to know you like me so much, but I feel almost worse for receiving nothing but positive responses.Can not someone at least agree with me that it's all pretty poor..?It would console me more if someone just came and told me that I am right, that it's below standard and that they too hope the next one will be better. Because there is no time for Mickey Mouse attempts at art, there are too many of them already.Well. I think that a part of the problem is the venue itself, I was hoping to claim the space sufficently with the large projection screens, but since I had to compromise and have smaller ones everything is just too 'bitty'... The film of course we don't even need to talk about, it is absolutely evident that it needs filming again, with more film stock (more money) and lighting (more money).. Ideally in a studio (more money..).The aspect that I am reasonably happy with is that I didn't give up. Although I am not entirely sure wether that is commendable or plain stubborn crazyness. The concept, the idea is still one that I stand behind strongly, but it was too hard to work completely on my own, with no real collaborators. The communities / individuals whom I worked with were good to me, and I am certainly not holding them responsible for not helping me more with the process. The real issue is that I feel that I am as much an insular as collective animal and that I missed the collective whilst enjoying far too large a quantity of the insular... I struggle at the best of times to keep a healthy balance but during the past 6 weeks I have reallty felt the lack of an immediate community of which I am part of. I am not sure what the solution may be. I know that I have to monitor my cine projectors for the next 3 weeks, to save the films from being scrunched up inside them.. In the same time I have 2 further project applications to write and post in time. One for a project in Liverpool to be presented by Mercy and the other a residency in a cathedral which I know I am under-qualified for (...yes, and judging by this work here... - but not much longer, another year or so of continuous application to my work and I should have much better chances..). And I need to make some drawing work. It's a skill that is getting rusty, so it's time to re-focus and throw myself into the practice. I love my charcoal, ink, pencils and paper... That's where happiness lies, it sits on the line as it forms on the paper, not quite sure of where it will lead next, but it's oh so seductive to see it appear..The cathedral and I agreed that opening times may be the best option for my films. I wish I had some volunteers to invidulate the show with me, taking turns.. So it looks like most days I will be there from about 10:00 to 12:00h and 13:00- 16:00h.It is time that I can use to make some drawings... Because what I am interested in at the moment are gestures, devotional and others. But the folding of hands attracts me quite... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 Things have calmed down somewhat, I am still more tired than a bear can possibly be before his big sleep in winter, but the inner equilibrium is already making it's re-appearance.On wednesday the 23rd will be the performance at the Anglican Cathedral, of Steve Boyland and his two fellow musicians: Jonathan Raisin and Ray I think it's Ray Dexter. They are responding to my work, and they are fantastically talented and very accomplished. There is nobody better or more suitable than these 3. Anywhere. (And they are equal in rank and status, it's just that Steve Boyland has been my friend for so long that I tend to call them the Boyland trio... Don't tell or I will get into trouble with the others..)This evening I went to the 'View Two Gallery' here in Liverpool to the the first of a series of evenings, 'Lost Voices' organised by the three above. An evening of songs and musical performance of a quality I rarely get the pleasure to hear. Inspirational.Brian Biggs (from the Bluecoat Gallery, Liverpool) was there, too. It's good to see him around, I like his style. Other gallery running men look distressed too often, dishevelled and even unwashed sometimes, but he always looks collected and well presented... It's important. And I approve. (Yes, we wonder here what makes me think my approval might count for anything, but here it is anyway..)Tomorrow I am back in the cathedral to fix my un-ruly projectors who are very hungry and chew and gnaw and tear to shredds my films. If anybody happens to want to donate another £1000 or any fraction or even multiple of this, well, then I could get more copies of the films printed, which would really help, and I could get some decent, serviced, warrantied projectors which would be 100% relieable rather than only 25%..Today my muse called and it all made me think how the last Biennial in Liverpool completely turned my life and fortunes around. I couldn't live without my art work again. How I got through the 'time of art-abstinence' I wonder... Now my ambitions are staked as high as they can be; my input and commitment to my work is equal to that of a person to breath, who has been underwater for too frighteningly long...I just struggle to clearly define what exactly I am aiming for. Success obviously, but what exactly constitues this ambiguous term success? I see artists of all types in all sorts of carreer incarnations.. Some are stationery, some travel like an eternally migrating bird, this premanent necessity for movement concerns me, I am not sure that I am cut out for it; for the consequences this has on friendships, relationships and personal roots of any kind.But I don't want to be a single-city-artist either. Absolutely not. But how do we effect and manage a balance? What does that even look like? I want to one day feature in Art Forum, October and Routledge publications and some of Phaidon's finer ones, too.. I want to be written about in these publications and I actually want to write within them, too. And not just with biro after I purchase one, as I do already...I want to have a choice within quality academic institutions, teach a little, receive international invitations to quality shows and quality dialogues. I want to take part in what defines art 'now'. In the meantime I am struggling to articulate my current understanding, in fact I am struggling to understand.. Art is so busy, there are too many variables. Globalism is killing us all..(Sweeping grand statement...)Anyway, in case you are looking for me, then you can find me on: myspace.com/papersculptures ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 Today I am sourcing tv& dvd combi units. It is becoming clear that I am battling with the elements and that my best choice now will be to film each of the cine projections digitally and burn them onto dvd loops. Then I will place monitors next to each projector and explain that there are technical difficulties in keeping the installation running for prolonged periods of time and that viewing can be arranged by appointment and include an invitation to next wednesday's performance of the Boyland Raisin Dexter Trio, who will respond to the work with improvised music.During this event the work will be shown as intended, but until then I just have to save my film from being chewed to bits... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 "Devotional Choreography"  cine film installation This project has cost some sweat.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 THE PRIVATE VIEW FOR MY EXHIBITION IS TODAY:WEDNESDAY 23rd of May / (Cup Final day...!)IN THE ANGLICAN CATHEDRAL LIVERPOOL AT 18:30h (The performance will start at 18:45h..)"Devotional Choreography"a 5-screen cine-film-projection installationSteve Boyland, Jonathan Raisin and Ray Dickaty will perform music in response to the work.. ( improvisation; piano, voice and saxophone). And they are really quite exceptional, so don't miss this opportunity to hear their performance because you really would be missing first class quality.I hope you can make it.Birgit.Below is the project description.. The shortes version I can manage:The catalyst for this installation is the divisive force with which many people respond to cultural identities that differ from their respective indigenous one… Focus is drawn on the visual poetry of movement and gesture, which devotees of religion have over centuries developed to honor and express their faith. I am temporarily taking the role as the choreographer of an interplay; a chorus;a series of pas de deux between cultures...(ORIGIN of Choreography: from Greek khoreia ‘dancing in unison’ (from khoros ‘chorus’ ) + -graphy )I am seeking out what is shared between and across cultures, unifying symbols of what make all of us equally human.. The project specifically investigates ritual movements made during devotional practices, as these are common to all faiths. The exact choreography differs, but as in any good performance on a stage, individual choreographies combine to a potentially holistic whole.. The grammar and composition employed within dance is transferable applied to life: For a harmonic performance, a certain generosity and empathy towards fellow performers is required. These movements and rituals are shown as a multi-screen-projection-installation, whichexplores the aesthetics of an endlessly repeated choreography which is connected to faith and prayer and which is also still strongly emblematic of individual cultural heritage. The ambition is to orchestrate a ‘dance’ about cultural kinship.. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 SURVIVED....!!!...the Private View went well, the projectors almost worked all the way through and the musicians were wonderful.The audience was interesting and interested and arrived in large enough numbers that I think it is fair to say that it was a success... Despite the Cup Final.. Which was lost anyway, so it was much better invested time to view some art, mingle and hear some exquisite improvised music.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 The anti-climax is taking over, the adrenal rush and push is running low, but now I only need to carry on to invigilate the installation.The projectors are still not to be trusted, as they are very intent of tearing the film or developing some other problem whenever I turn my head in another direction.The show will be in the Anglican cathedral and available to view for one more week. For the most part of the day 5 monitors are showing what should be on the 5 screens.. This is another one in the line of compromises.. But at least this way there is something visible for audience who arrive when I am absent.I have set some viewing times which aremon-fri 11:00-13:00 & 15:00- 16:30and sat/ sun 13:30-15:30.However I will be available by request, my telephone number is available in the exhibition space, and anyone can call for an appointment.(07761139340)The project has been very demanding and the outcome s fine, but I am disappointed that after all this hard work there are still many compromises that I am not really happy with. But it was important to me to show the work anyway, and at the private everybody was happy with what I had to show. The issues that concern me aren't apparent to most other people.And considering that I was opening at the Cup Final night the turnout was very good. There were in excess of 30 people and I am happy with that. (Especially since I found out later that it took some doing to get admitance, the security staff had locked the main door and not left any indication as to how to get in... there is another door with a door bell, but I think a fair few people didn't find this..).Now I need to think about how to continue and how to earn a living at the same time.Big questions. They demand coffee.. I will go and have coffee. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 This is now the last week of the show being up at the cathedral, and I am only just feeling that I am getting at least some of my momentum back. So I have extended the viewing hours and am finally looking forward to meeting my walking-by-by-chance audience..There isn't much advertising of the work, which is a little disappointing, but I just got so run out of energy and I did what I could.The Liverpool Art Blog has me listed, although in a bit of a half hearted way, which is not surprising, Ian is running this great website almost as a one man show, and I know he has help, but I don't think there is enough funding, if any and certainly for work like his there should be.It is the Art in Liverpool Blog that played a large part in helping me re-launch back into my art practice, 2 years ago. It is a fantastic resource of what is happening in Liverpool; who the artists are, where they are, what they show and where. I think he has been absolutely instrumental in facillitating a community that previously was considerably more scattered.. Especially since most Cafes don't have notice boards any more and instead choose a streamlined, corporate style, with space only for the latest, glossy property magazine...From the day that I re-launched myself into my carreer, his website has really made a world of difference, to have access to where the private views are and with that were the art community and exclusives are. Which makes 'beginning again' so much easier, it's like having friends/colleagues before one has met them...The only other equal contributors to the dynamic with which I am now working are an artist I met at one of the Independent Biennial Openings and "Mercy" the Liverpool Design Collective, with a magazine and a very strong poetry/music/art branch. They (Tomas Harold & Nathan Jones) curated "Bracket This III" during the last Biennial, a show to which I was invited to make work. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 Today I feel nourished thanks to my art work, actually... While I invigulated my show, I met an interesting Urban Planning Phd student, and was drawn into a 2 hour conversation about everything. Philosophy, Art, Society, practicalities and the impossibility of me making it to this year's Venice Biennale, after I already bought the plane ticket... We talked about teachers of all kinds and supervisors, education establishments, faith, spirituality, paths in life and right ones, wrong ones, and the debatable need to follow one at all... and I introduced him to scones.. (He isn't from this Island)The project costs had spiralled beyond all expectation (evidence is not exactly visible..) and the full time involvement with getting everything to work took 10 days more than I had scheduled. 10 days in which I wanted to make some drawings for the gallery that sells them and for a regular customer of mine, and 10 days which would have also been the time to reflect on next steps.. And so now I can't go mingling in Italy with the international exclusives and would-like-to-be-exclusives... Making new work and meeting application deadlines take precedence over a not entirely neccessary adventure...The conversation with this stranger refreshed my brain cells and I also feel a sense of freedom spread itself like fresh air, all around my mind... A freedom that comes with having made decisions. (Cancelling Venice, as sore as it was; and also not taking the opportunity to hear Jan Svankmajer talk, even so I have a ticket for tuesday in London, and I have been looking forward to this for 5 weeks -and to seeing my friend whom I have only seen once in the last 2 years and whom I love ... But again, I just can't leave my show now. After all the work that I have put in, I need to be here with it now.. And I am actually starting to feel proud of it...) ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 How do people manage to find time to get bored..? These days are just never long enough. I want to write a few proposals and chase up opportunities and contacts that have come my way in the last month or two... And it always seems to be evening and too late when I have time..Who sneaks all the time?I am quite enjoying invidulating my work at the cathedral, at least once a day I find myself in an unexpected conversation which I just wouldn't like to have missed. I hope a few more people come to see the work.Spending a fair amount of time handing out my information leaflets to passer-by pensioners and Japanese who are equally baffled by the somewhat too small type-face that I used.. Or the language.. I would like a couple of funding type persons to come and have a look, and fall in love with the work, or me, either way, as long as it would lead to funded opportunities to make more work, to make more work for this project, to make new, other work, to just make work. Actually it would be good to meet some more artists/dancers/thinkers/doers.. People to make work with.. The isolation of this project has been tiering especially in the 2 weeks before it went up and the time leading up to the private view..Did I say: I wish making work would be paid.. I work pretty hard. I would like to work more.There is definitely the question: Who am I making work for? Who is the art for, and what purpose does it serve..? Is it a selfgratifying exercise, would that even be a bad thing? Does an artist have to be useful to other people, is this a responsibility that is expected of other people? Why would it/ should it then of the artist, who probably isn't even paid..?If I am honest I am making work for people with inspiration. What their precise background is isn't of importance. But I really do need an inspired audience. I couldn't pretend any other truth than that. My art isn't going to exactly change the world. Most people's art really won't do that. But I have small contributions to make to the dialogue between people.. One wouldn't expect, one shouldn't expect that every act a writer takes, a philosopher or scientist, will necessarily change the world. But each thorough endeavour is worthwhile in it's own right and an inspiration to anyone who cares to take the time to engage..So I am not under any illusion that a majority of council flat tenants will enjoy or even tollerate my work, but I was once a council flat tenant (as a child and teenager) and when a friend took me to a gallery, for what was then my first time, it left an amazing impression on me. It opened my eyes to more than the art works on display but fitted in snuggly with the experience of having an enlightened Latin teacher who tought less latin but more philosophy and thought.. It also connected with my growing enjoyment of reading "Die Zeit" a german newspaper that transported me into another world, one of words and thoughts and possible futures..So perhaps my work may just be the tiny experience that adhers to someone's mind ready to pop back up and connect to another beautiful experience which in combination change life.. For someone.For some time I struggled with art, the necessity, the use, the indulgence... But now I feel a sense of purpose and am not particularly interested in continuing the inward directed sense of distress and questioning that probably leads to more inaction than action. Art is very useful, but it takes some inspiration to understand that. Of course there are some art forms and expressions of which the 'use' is more easily identifyable, but I think my work comes in as a form of visual philosophy... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 Today only one image of my installation: ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 It is saturday, one of the last days of the exhibition being up, and I am becoming reflective, making notes on ways to improve on the next project, and also finding bits of time to just watch my work and the members of the public that mingle around it...Tonight I am going to spend a few hours photographing every possible angle of the installation (again..) and tomorrow will then be the last full day. I have had a good response, and I really wish I had had the energy to pursue more funding...It is great being with the work myself, but it would have been useful to delegate this invigilating job and come to the space with fresh energy to engage, instead of it being an every day job. Which left little time to plan the next project or make drawing work to bolster the bank account which currently is screaming in distress...But it will come together. I am excited about next week, when I will edit my documentation footage, work on my portfolio and my texts, research the next projects, book my ticket for India (where I am making 2 installations !), find out how to ship my work back from India to here, make drawings, write to a few galleries, apply for a couple of residencies... ok, clearly not all that in one week... but some of that and some of what I forgot to include in the list. And actually: I really want to go and look at other people's work.And I need to find a venue for this same project (Devotional Choreography) but this time I want to show it in a small room with credit card sized projections. Intimate and very small... Except of course that the scale of the projectors, the audio volume they create will be in complete contrast with the fragility and intimacy of the projected image...But more about that later. First I am going back to the cathedral to catch some more audience to chat with and see what they say.I am looking forward to being in the space on my own this evening. It is really quite special to have such unlimited access to the place..To such a place. !... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 The show has come down yesterday and there are just some things to move from the cathedral to my house now.When will I have the luxury of an art handling team at my disposal..?AND I should be on my way to the Venice Biennale/ Biennial on thursday but now there is no room, no bed to be found anywhere..So here is my SOS to the world:can anyone put me up in their apartment, their room, underneath their bed, on the sofa, in the shower..? As long as I have a blanket.. (Well, and I am bringing white trousers, so sleeping underneath the Rialto is out of the question, as I also like to wash sometimes.. in privacy prefereably..)So SOS & please direct rescue (in decending order)to:bdeubner@gmx.netmyspace.com/papersculpturesmyspace.com/birgitdeubner... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 The Real Thing at the Tate....contemporary art from China..The first room that I walked into made my heart jump with joy, the second caused my eyes to well up with delight and the third just finished me off... I had to slow down to take time and dry the dribble that was running down my chin because I was close to losing bodily controls due to happyness and excitement....Then I reached the 4th work and stood in awe... THIS is the kind of art which once moved me so much that I found myself on a path which lead me to where I am now. This is inspirational work, I am stuck for words... And then it carried on. There were more pieces... just as good. My god I love it. The FIRST show since the last Venice Biennale that moved me, excited me, made me giddy with contented eyes and soul..Oh happiness..THERE is art.And now I am packing to get on a plane and see what delights and artistic delicacies the Vennice Biennale will offer..My god. The life !! ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 12 more hours and I will be flaneuring along the canals of Venice...The most romantic city in the world, allegedly... (However, the reality may just be a city that casts a sharp eye on it's many visiting artists, travelling accross the globe to find themselves in fiece competition, eye-to-eye-races to impress the next bigger and better and more emminent persons of rank and influence..) Nevertheless, I will soon be viewing all kinds of art, some wonderful, some less so, in exquisite location..Marvelous!Should one bring the laptop and harddrive to get on with some work while there, or just give up on that altogether...? Take a book instead...? It has been such a long time since I have been detached from my laptop.. Such a long time since I have just had the indulgence of immersing myself in the print of a book...Since it will be my 3rd visit to Venice, I may be less in awe of the location and perhaps more able to focus on work..? It would require another 5kg of gear to carry around... Will I really have time..?Perhaps just the pen and paper and there will undoubtedly be at least one book that will find it's way accross a till counter and into my bag.. Maybe it is a rare opportunity to leave the laptop-film-editing work behind and embrace the time to think, let the muse come by and kiss me thoroughly... Yes, it shall be a pen and paper and daydream kind of trip. That is that... decided..(Oh, but the laptop looks me in the eye and says: " Are you really sure about that...? Think about the deadlines speeding closer and closer...") ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 Venetian Infusion !Well steeped, strong and no additives.Just a quick note to announce my return from the place of black squid sauce and stripy blue and white sweat-shirts..More about these Biennale Pre-view days when I have got used to that I am no longer travelling everywhere by boat or blister inducing ally-way walks... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 ...it is not all doom... actually......I just remembered where my project took it's roots and actually it is more than it appeared in it's latest re-incarnation.It all started when I looked at Plato's cave 4 years ago... (The origin of drawing being the incentive back then..) Then I searched for the origin of knowledge which is obviously a stupid thing to do, but very interesting to arrive in Babylonia and Alexandria and in southern Spain with the Muslims who saved knowledge that would have been eaten by the rats otherwise... (..none of this in this order..)Remember they transformed southern Spain into the hub of education when most of Northern Europe lay in the dark ages... This all was where it started.Thank heaven's my work is not as flat as I suddenly thought it is...Now give me funding. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 I want to do more research on the origin of knowledge and the clustering of it in different locations and along different routes at certain times throughout history. I feel that it is an investigation that relates to contemporary culture which appears to have become a culture of surface, one of having rather than being (yes, that's a quote from Guy Deborge.. clearly miss-spellt)..It feels like a relative revival of the Dark Ages ruled by crusades and propaganda. Fear and ignorance which people appear to willingly subscibe to and a condition they seem to embrace... However at every age there were glimmers of hope, beacons of humanity and moral....I would like to use some time investigating the historical movements of knowledge gathering and distribution across the maps of the world...My initial visual output I will probably concentrate on and around the fable of Babylon, the associated loss of the unifying human language and with that the fable-beginning of misunderstanding and fractioning being perhaps a root cause of war..At the moment I envisage a sculptural and film expression/ outcome.. I just require some space to think in and work in. The exact route that the project will take will depend somewhat on the available space and resources, but essentially I can provide myself everything in order to make something. But of course the more additional resources are available the more this concept and manifestation can grow.Access to information resources, with that the internet and well stocked libraries, are vital to me. Some opportunities for quality conversations, too.Most I really would love to have enough time to really immerse myself in the research and experimenting with possibilities for a resulting exhibition..I have such a strong back ground in drawing practice, which I haven't connected with for a fairly long time, I would like to pick up on that again; in fact I feel a neccessity and deep urge to... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 It seems that I will be crazy busy until the end of next year. 2-3 installations in India in August. One project that I want to try and bring back for the Liverpool Biennale. Another project that seems to crystallize with these exquisite musicians. Then I also need to return to my drawing practice because it is becoming exceptionally rusty. And I don't know. Ah, yes. A show in a ruin, a bombed out church in Liverpool. This should happen in september. (3 small wooden huts with work inside... it's an open air venue, secured by the church walls, but there is no roof..)And and and and and and and...I am calculating wether I need to try and get a place at the Royal College of Art or possibly Goldsmiths (postgraduate courses)in order to save myself a few years worth of struggle.. And also to safeguard myself for my future. An RCA / RA next to one's name appears to be a good insurance against carreer lows... well.. But it's all just thinking, thinking and planning... In the meantime I am so busy and enjoy it a lot.The 52nd Venice Biennale panicked me slightly. So many artists.. So much competition. So many whose work is just more polished. But then also a fair few whose work is pretty flat and obvious.. But still the rat race part of it all made me a bit uncomfortable.. And the concern over what the value of my work can possibly be... I saw too many pieces that were akin to my own, by content or choice of symbolism. But then perhaps it is ok to be part of a Zeitgeist... hmmmm... Still it makes me squirm. Until I saw all these related pieces, I thought that I was deeply unfashionable.. Which I am obviously not.For the most part I just want to remain in a position in which I can simply make my work, have an audience and find myself in some publications.art art bloddy art.I best get back to some work and look into the Tower of Babel... It interests me as an image.. The gathering and distribution of knowledge throughout the ages.. The loss of a common language as alleged by this story about the destruction of the Babylonian tower and the fragmentation of the people by taking their common language from them..What a strange god that would be.. Complete absence of benevolence, and if this story were true then it would be the root cause of all conflict and war... What a horrible god this would be..I think. Although give me enough time and I will find ways to also completely agree with such a god. But that another time. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 I took a whole day off. Completely off...And my god, I am a workaholic it seems.. Because by the end of yesterday I was almost twitching with the need to do something...Today I am back to being relaxed, the rain stopped. And I am quite excited and refreshed after my 24 hour break with complete rest (except the wheelclamping experience which rendered me broke..),I want to make a few short films this week and 'up' my speed and output ability.. It's not about finished projects and quality but just about seeing how many film sketches I could make..So I will start with the 'limited-journey' project.. Another one of the claustrophobic resolutions to a movement intended but not quite allowed, restricted by externeal factors... weight, space, logistics.I am quite drawn to these kind of visual metaphor non-journeys, it relates to some personal matters. And some matters I see around myself in social/political/economic sphere.So off I go.. there is work to do..Plato is sitting next to my bed, reading out loud "Theaetetus".. A quest for knowledge and thruth..And my neighbours are sanding their floor..which is my ceiling.. It's time to move... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 At the moment I am tearing up books and making paperboats and setting some alight... I am enjoying the thoughts that come and the disturbing parallels with book burnings and making a game of knowledge... So I am making disposable toys out of encyclopedias that once cost a lot of money, reflecting their once respected importance, necessity and status.. But they are old books now. Old, but not old enough to be valued again.. Never again valued for their content. Who cares about the Baltic Sea and the strange Australian mouse-animals whose names start with a B... and I am only at the section B.. who knows what kind of knowledge I will come accross and make us of......Perhaps I will make a tower of Babel after all.. I have been so stuck on this image for so long... But for now I am making boats for journeys that will never take place..Journeys with no purpose and no destination... a journey still remains a thing that may throw up surprises and kinks in it's design.....where are the philosophers when we need them? ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 ..still folding boats and drawing them..But the main focus now is on finding at least a little bit of funding for the installations / projects that I will do in India in August.There will be 3 installation pieces and one temporary gallery, in which I will show previous work of mine. Brilliant. So much to do.I had planned to be there for 4-5 weeks. I may stay 6 to get everything done. Upon arrival the first job will be to secure my premises, but I already have connections and I should be able to move in within a week.Then the setting up and manning of the exhibition space as well as preparing my 3 installations.. I love that in India i can work like here only a very well established Artist can. And I love the response of the audience there.Complete absence of cynicism. Instead an open mind to the work and questions people here rarely ask.Looking forward to the process and experience!It would help to find at least £2000, the actual cost could be £3000 or actually if I brought this to conclusion and imported my work to the UK then of course we are looking at more like £9000/£10.000Would you not like to contribute?I would post you a paying in-slip for my bank account... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 ..sudden change of plan.I will go to India as soon as I can get the Visa.It occured to me that I seem to be somewhat slow at making drawing based works right now and I could use the time far more efficently out there.So I shall be off within the next two weeks.Now I just need to find a lodger.Phew. This is much better, why didn't I think of it sooner? ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 ..and sometimes.. I just by chance find other artists who make me feel brave again, who completely unexpectedly remind me of the magic and the soul that sometimes we can find in art, in words, in sounds.. however these are arranged.. Sometimes, I find one artist like this, in what I once thought would be the very least likely place... but here it is, I found one on myspace. As good as the epiphanic experience that I had weeks back when I nearly cried tears of joy in the Chinese Show in the Tate Gallery.. So my heart jumps. I am inspired. She inspired me. Brilliant! And why..? Because I think not only is her work beautiful, but it is brave. There is courage in revealing something that seems so fragile, but I see enormous strength in there. But I am still feeling apprehensive about the upcoming journey. (I did get a flight, by the way...although the prices have gone throught the roof..) It seems strange in a way to travel half around the planet to India, in order to make art work, when I wouldn't mind making it here. But financially and strategically it is so unbelievably prohibitive to work here.. Still, I have spent my dental money on the flight... (yes, my dental money... I have a tooth that needs sorting and will cost exactly what that plane ticket cost... Oh dear...) Making art like this just requires so much of one person, for which I suppose I always imagined there would be a whole team.. Instead the artist permanently does a :'And Again..." on picking up the crazy confidence required to risk an entire existence... For art. It seems laughable sometimes.. art... And still it is exactly the single most important, essential, existing factor, ingredient in my life. I have projects to write up and haven't even started yet ! So just as well I am negotiating with a conspirator ... Tomorrow morning will be filled with trying to get things into writing and with burning images for an impromptu exhibition onto discs.. Just I can barely afford to have them printed out. And disappointingly the printing is almost the same cost out there in India.. And not quite as relieably professional as 'Moorfields Photo Lab' in Liverpool are. I am clearly crazy. But then we all knew that. Postcards anyone...????? (Remember I need any that you have sitting around in boxes. Old, new, vintage, with art on them or places... So far the response has been phenomenal: NONE... Help please, SOS... Needed by sunday..) ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 ...does anybody else wonder if they are risking too much of their youth on striving for an ellusive carreer..?I have a lot of unanswered questions. Is this really important enough or just a complete indulgence.I remember 8 years ago I was wondering if I was too old to change directios completely. If I should try and go and study medicine.. Maybe I should have done something more useful like that.. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 And now I am 2 days away from the journey to India, where I will make art work... in the monsoon rain....Next monday I will already go out and commission my mobile gallery and start working on a series of installations.Internet connections in Mysore / India are reasonably good, so I will post images as I go along.There isn't a project title, as I am working on 4 projects simultaneously.I will give everything descriptions and titles throughout the following 4-5 weeks.. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 The artist in India...So far I seem to have spent most of my time getting over the jet lag, then the airconditioning induced cold, then getting over getting over and then relaxing after all that...But it is not like I really didn't do anything at all.I have taken several trips around the city centre back alley ways, around the inside and outside of the fresh produce market, around the pultry section (which nearly made me faint) and have drawn a man I believe may have been dead.. It's hard to say with the alcohol induced stupor with which people just lay by the side of the road, and look quite dead, unmoving, eyes wide open... And India being as it is, death and life always to be expected in immediate proximity to each other, well it wouldn't surprise me if the man was actually dead... So anyway: as I made one of the worst drawings I attracted an audience of about 20.. It is not exactly what they expect of me, the very white woman, top sit on a curb stone and draw in amidst the madness that is India.I have started to scout around for possible materials to work with and collect the first quotes on prices. Drove around some parts of the nearby countryside to look for some locations for some of my work and this evening finally had a meeting with Tina and her husband, who run a local business and who are going to help me locate some people to work with. (i.e. carpenters, tradesmen, ..etc)So I don't even know what timescale I am operating on, it would be great to get most of this work realized within the next 3 weeks. As I have a mad urge to take photographs in Varanassi or around Ladakh.. (Two absolutely opposite kind of places, from the descriptions I hear..)First:tomorrow I will meet the carpenters and see what comes of the encounter. Hopefully it will be stupidly easy and everything will fall into place. But after the show in the Anglican Cathedral I will never again be so naive as to be unprepared for a hard uphill, swimming against the stream struggle...Salmon-esque.... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 ...negotiations with the carpenter... ...searching for locations......finding out logistical things......little opportunity to write on this blog, but now that I am actively starting work one of the installations this wednesday I will try and communicate a little more... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 The absence of private working space is slowing me down enormously. But then I am in India... I sense the envy accross the readership,... and it is hard to explain the frustration of the almost non-existent working progress, due to Indian "professionalism"... and absence of suitable working spaces.The monsoon rain just started up again a couple of minutes ago and it is starting to dribble water through the roof into the internet cafe... So it is time to shut the laptop lid and come back another time..... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 Making work here in South India is taking unexpected turns. The mentality that I have had at home which made me push through and past any obstacles just doesn't work here.I have to adapt. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 Just returned from a few days in the jungle/ coffee plantation, set in endless miles of tall hills and mountains. The quiet, rainy monsoon, thinking time has been invaluable.Inspiration is a shy wild animal... Forcing it will never tame it. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 Since my last entry I have started a traditional Indian painting course on which I am learning how to make a devotional painting, depicting one of the many Hindu gods. My teacher has a good 20 years experience, he studied in Chennai for 5 years and followed his study up with life in an Ashram, where he continued his training for a further 3 years. He is only a comparatively young man (at 36) but he is one of the most focused and sincere artists I have met anywhere. In my first painting I am concentrating on the god Shiva, who is part of the equivalent of the Holy Trinity here.. (Brahma, Shiva and Vishnu).I am currently looking for a buddhist monk whom I have heard about. He lives somewhere in the maze of streets in Mysore (where I am resident at the moment). I want to ask for classes in traditional Buddhist painting, too.You can probably see where this is going, another expedition of finding common denominators that highlight and affirm culture and faith groups's in familiarities..My next exhibition will be in St. Luke's Church in Liverpool, situated on Leece Street which is at the top of Bold Street. This place is an unmissable landmark.My show will be resonably humble, as I am still in India, I can not imagine that I will be able to make use of the space in a way that I would most like, to.I hope that I get another opportunity next year to make a large installation within the walls of this bombed out relic.. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 ‘After Babel..' /‘The Faiths of Others' Faiths from around the world or equally likely from within a 1 mile radius, coming together in an audio installation at St. Luke's Church in Liverpool.Loudspeakers through which prayers are played, the speakers arranged in a circle, through which cuts a path...Whether we are devout believers, agnostic or atheist, the religions of the world inform most aspects of our upbringing, education, system of values, moral code, our individual understanding of the world and attitude towards one another and other cultures.Without necessarily being clearly aware of it, the faiths of others shape our world, our individual and collective world. We may move within an invisible net of influences - this is represented by the sound, in itself intangible, invisible yet of course a real entity (like god?) that leaves it's residue and informs the space we inhabit (i.e. our daily lives as also the exhibition venue).One reason why I am an artist is that I continue to cling to a possibly utopian unreasonable and improbable hope for humanity to find a neutral ground which it can inhabit with tolerance if not understanding and without dogmatism. My vision of the world is that it's success is determined by similar principles to those of great art work; a successful choreography, a well composed classical music score. So in this installation I take reference from Bach's use of counterpoint and polyphony. Musical theories applied to the composition of his work, in which a variety of melodies are overlaid and form the audible beauty of his creations. Here the success is in the understanding that a number of individual melodies make up a complex whole. I would like the world to see itself like this, a complex composition, a chorus work, of many, many individual voices and melodies that can play in harmony, that are all required to make the world complete. Demonstrating this ideal with prayers of different faiths, who inhabit the exhibition space equally; these are my ‘vehicle' to express what I wish people of all orientations, cultures and continents could arrive at.: An equally, harmonious, balanced symphony of individuals.The second part of this installation is an evolving forest which will grow around the speaker installation for the duration of the show.The forest grows day by day and is made on-site by the artist, during the exhibition timeframe. The audience can take this opportunity to reflect on the symbolism of forest, path and ladders, and the growing nature of the work as well as reflect on journeys in life they themselves undertook, wish they had done or are currently on. The presence of the artist is welcoming a dialogue with the audience, a dialogue about the content, artist's motivations and inspirations of the work as well as the arts in general. It is specifically an opening of the mind that I wish can be achieved so my presence and continued practice during opening hours of the exhibition show my commitment to the work and my ideal.There are a number of reasons to construct a forest and to construct it as a work in progress on site in the venue. For one it feels to me that the journey which we take through life develops, as life accumulates one experience after another. The multiple aspects of life can feel like a forest in which one can lose oneself or be lost. This symbolism of forest can also be read as one's being lost an life and distant from purpose, destiny or faith, it can also symbolise the forests of our childhood folk and fairy tales, the imaginary places of mystic and magic that were out childhood dreams.. In life we always hope to ascend to reach heights.. From Babylonian times man has striven to reach the skies, to equal or rival divinity. So we continue to climb today still. Be it to reach goodness in life, be it in arrogance in the belief of our individual or collective supremacy (political for example), be it in the hope that things weill improve from bad to better or good to greater. We may seek godly blessing or love or status in society, the aim is always upwards, ascent. The ladder describes an unstable, unsecured journey, one the higher one reaches on, the more risky, the more treacherous the fall, a journey, also, that at it's end may lead to nothing... or to the heavens... this is open to interpretation. The ladder is the most immediate vehicle to ascent and in the way that I use it I also think of it as signifying the growth of trees, I make the ladder the tree in a forest which is created throughout our lives. The ladders will be constructed out of found wood sourced from skips and scrap yards, which will be further places of contact between the artist and an audience, where perhaps only thoughts will be exchanged or perhaps new understanding formed..The main cost factor for this exhibition will be the acquisition of the loudspeakers. They should be reasonably large in size to give them presence in the exhibition space and to illustrate the presence of faith in the day to day running of the world..... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 I finally returned from India with significantly less additions to my portfolio than I hoped I would add, but with a stronger stand in my own practice than I left with.So I would say that makes the trip successfull.. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 ..finally manages to upload... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 ..bursting at the seams with projects... Now I simply need money....I have spent most of today tidying up my incredibly unruly external hard drives and laptop... And have only just taken control of the tip of the ice berg...From monday there should be more regular updates on my project progresses again. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 …I have two… …square eyes... …but for my labours also a bag full of useful websites......I am floating in a bubble of excellent information……let the waters break, it's time for the delivery of this overdue art baby……come on out screaming and squelching……it's time these ideas saw the light of day and got out of their nice warm womb, enough of this comfort! I say go to the workhouse and get producing!!…these ideas seem to think that it's ok to just stay in the warm and safe forever. …but no more of that. Out with it. Out into the wintery nights… In fact send that idea onto the next street-corner, red light... it's about time it did something to pay for it's upkeep, I have been nurturing it for long enough…Time to get real… feet on the ground... and all that…But first some sleep, and the hope that the enthusiasm wakes up at the same time as I, tomorrow.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 ...Working progress presentation with Lost Voices, in St Bride's Church on saturday evening..- 6pm-9pmThe musicians will improvise in relation to 5 monitors showing Sections of my "Devotional Choreographies" project from earllier this year.We are planning a collaboration and are taking this as an early step in the process. (After inumerable dialogues..) ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 The collaborative event with "Lost Voices" in the View Two Gallery on Matthew Street in Liverpool (on the 22nd of November):...went quite well...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 In true festive spirit I have spent a lot of time this evening talking about my work and found myself discussing the production of my work, not the making... If that makes any sense..Producing / making = producing as in the practical side of things, the part minus romance and inspiration but with hard facts and ways to impress my competence on potential investors.. Brrrr... Not exactly Christmas talk..No sign of discussing shepherds but how to show my work and methods as strong and as a 'safe bet' for potential exhibitors.Well.... I am of course marvelous. But it appears that's not enough.So to everyone else: the message is: make it clear if you have had any funding/support for any part of your present or previous work. I somehow just assumed that the art speaks for itself, and that me having shown the art will also speak for itself. But of course: how does anyone know that you can meet your deadline? How would anyone know that other people have confidence in you (me)... They need to be told. And it is actually pretty obvious, but I had left that aspect out of my recent applications. So there is some work for me before I leave for Istanbul.And here is a toast to my learning curve... Happy Christmas Everyone. xxx... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 I have finally seen sense and will go to buy a copy of Thomas Cooks European Rail timetable. What was I thinking when I didn't do that sooner..?And I will also book two hotels, the first one for Belgium on my first day of travel and the second hotel for my point of arrival in Istanbul.Still too much to do to get ready, too little prepared, and the borrowed car was broken into.The suitcase containing too many kilograms of camera kit and cables to ever stand a chance at even the first train change.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 ... coincidences and planned occurrences.../ shape-shifting and soul-changing ...trains through snowy landscapes, passing friendships that last as long as the time to the next destination, many night-time border-crossings, feeling timeless, feeling at the mercy of fate, feeling the wild bandits lurking in the forests and I am sure they watch me from their hiding places, from their spots just behind the dark foliage of that dense pine forest wilderness.... Bandits posing as border control, my final disappearance only prevented by someone's last minute change of mind, but of course I have no proof of any of this.. After all they pretended to be border control, didn't give away their bandit identity with passes and formal introductions... I arrived in Sofia, "Time present and time past, are both perhaps present in time future and time future contained in time past.." .."..all time eternally present.." , yes T.S. Eliot, I agree, time past was there with me in time present... We shook hands when I stepped off the train onto a, communist grey, communist imprinted, now democratic new European Sofia central station platform.... and still the scent of the past is so strong, it is more present then the air of a fresh 2008 we would suppose, would expect to smell like. I couldn't smell 2008 but a lot of 1988. So again I found myself time traveling... See I am living proof time travel is possible, and it does leave a lasting effect on one's heart and bodily tissues, but not the effect that an astronaut might experience, somehow it's different. One's soul changes. A nip and a tuck on the tissue here and there, not performed by skilled surgeon's hands but by time, by traveling from this zone to another, by crossing human realities, intangible forms, shape shifting as I go along, leaving me changed irreversibly forever... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 !!!  continued from post 54 !!!:... walking in knee-deep snow with heavy luggage, putting a wild dog in his place, making decisions, making not enough decisions, looking for answers, finding more questions, chance meeting with mystical figures from the past, unlikely arrivals in hidden places just in time for most beautiful rituals, finding needles in haystacks and I wasn't even looking, standing for an hour in a ceremony that told me I was in the late Middle Ages, perhaps the 16th century or so, learnt that 4 is 2 and that friendly helpers have motives I never understood, the only woman on this carriage was me and so I received special treatment and a compartment all to myself, the sink froze shut that night, much maneouvering of the train, back and forth and back and forth four times before all the carriages were re-connected in the correct way, where would mine go..? Did they get it right or would I wake up in Greece instead of en route on the tracks to Istanbul?? Careful glimpsing out of the windows not wanting to provoke a border-patrol as I had inadvertently done somewhere between Serbia and Bulgaria, resulting in sharp bangs on my window and mean looks worrying me if it was an imprisonable offence, uncomfortable registering of the deep snow in which I could just disappear until the big thawing in march or so, blue, deep frozen, freeze dried and who would ever know?... eventually arriving in Istanbul two hours after the first onset of train-fatigue, luckily the sink un-froze around the same time of the first sign of train fatigue (the exit end was frozen up and closed leaving me with sloshing, sloshing, sloshing water..)... beautiful sunshine, spending time, weeks, too much bread, not enough tea without sugar, eyes opening to the realities of our world of differences, East and West so bloddy far apart, cultural gaps greater than diplomacy perhaps... The deep discomfort of the new understanding, some hopelessness for the first time in life, maybe the populations of the world will never unite harmonically, feeling disturbed by the divide that faith causes, would one god allow his creations to be so pained in discord? Can I believe that? ...Whirling Dervishes, grilled fish sandwiches, a lot of walking, some art, meeting successful photographer through a director/curator, being invited to show in Ankara and at a new Turkish Biennale this August, friendly independent cats, over-friendly employees trying too hard to recruit our custom, some late sunshine, much delicious baked rice pudding, sad departures, return to flooded kitchen and broken fridge, how come breakdowns don't come in individual packages, 2 at the time of one... lots of disinfectant and now I am here, gazing through my window, into a sunny world. Time to re-join that life here. I discovered Roibush and Vanilla tea, my inexplicably huge comfort. Welcome home to me. How is the world from your window? ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 I am amused and it is quite interesting how just because I have started a project on Sisyphus I somehow am finding myself researching clay pits in England... I am currently writing the first budget for the project. Compared to how long it took to start active steps to realize past project ideas after their initial hatching; my response time has increased considerably. Bravo to me.   Current projects are: the one about Sisyphusperformance/film/installation/intervention/sculpture Khoreia (in collaboration with Steve Boyland)  film/installation/collaboration  7 Giants (foresters highseats dislocated) sculpture/installation/sound Idioms in translation              installation/photography/film/drawing  These are not necessarily the actual titles of the projects in progress but one has to call them something while they are in the making...  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 I love John Cage so much.... It's been a week and a half:two relationship dramas, a trip to London, sleeping on a sofa in meat smells (being vegetarian those smells displease me), but sleeping soundly and as deep as not in months, attending an interview at the Royal College of Art for the sculpture MA, being greeted by a panel of  5 (yes 5!), freezing and de-freezing and re-freezing and sort of feeling that I pulled a corner and did ok, but certainly not flawlessly..Traveling back to Liverpool, deciding against a cat; at least for now; having 2 glasses of wine and inspiring late evening conversations about the power of books, sleeping, exhaustion, more relationship traumas, more sleeping, e-mails and an invitation to attend an interview at Goldsmiths University, the e-mail which I nearly deleted because it looked like one of those overseas get rich quick scheme e-mails... Ah, and I attended the Liverpool AIR event, which gave us all an opportunity to hear Leo Fitzmaurice and Kai Oi Jay Yung talk about their respective paths that lead them from some time past to their art practice today. Leo's talk was great and engaging and I am very glad that I finally got an opportunity to meet him, just he was also absolutely out-charmed by Jay, who has a rare gift to enchant with her way of speaking about her work as well as a particularly shining personality. You may argue: "What has personality got to do with it, it is the art that should speak for itself.." But I would disagree with that, I think it is as much about the artist as it is about the art. Especially when it comes to someone like Jay. From my perspective she kind of merges with her work and becomes an inseparable part of it. I hope she will maintain her current momentum of the last years. I think she just might have a lot of future in her...Then I won a ticket for a John Cage event......at first I leap in the air with joy, then realize that the event is in less than 24 hours.. Being upset.Just that there is work to finish and to get into the post in time to make sure an application for a residency reaches its destination in time. And I can't sensibly attend a funeral then start and finish an application and drive up to the Baltic in one day. Well, it's just that the residency is one that I would absolutely love to be chosen for, so a rushed application probably will not help the matter... Art Sway! Could someone please tell them how brilliant I would be? I hope they will give my won ticket to any poor student on the door. It is especially disappointing since I hadn't won anything in such a long time, the last time was when I won a Coca Cola picnic cooler bag, long before I took objection to Coca Cola... And I love John Cage so much!... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 And here is a glimpse of my journey by train across Eastern Europe... the photographs go along with my blog post of the 26th of january... These photographs are taken from a cold train between Serbia and Bulgaria, around sunrise, only few hours before arriving in Sofia... which felt like arriving in another decade... My form of time travel... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118 Just to explain why I haven't writen for so long:I have been having problems for weeks getting things posted. I keep getting error messages.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/380118