http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 Clothes for Death Sat, 30 Aug 2008 09:06:46 +0100 a-n rss generator a-n The Artists Information Company and contributors edit@a-n.co.uk technical@a-n.co.uk http://sites.a-n.co.uk/img/logo.gif http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 I am not ready to go. I said this to a friend today, when she asked me about my impending trip on Thursday morning. I realised that ever since I came to the UK (in 1992) that this has been the shortest distance between my journeys to Croatia & Bosnia - it has been four months since my last visit. I don't miss IT and I don't feel nostalgic. My friend said it is more real in this way, and it rang true allthough I can't quite put it into words. So, what happens when the cloud of nostalgia disappears, are we left with 'just' a country, without the mystic or nostalgic or mythical air that we insert into those spaces and places. Even though I am going for a specific project, I am still going 'back home'. And being back is part of the dialogue, with the land, with the people I meet, with the culture and with the space I will inhabit for a bit more then a month. My equipment is ready, my camera packed, films bought, and yet I don't feel ready for exposure.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 Thought I'd write a bit of a background to the project. The whole idea for it came whilst I was filming for my other project Radionica. One of the women I filmed said that her mother travelled “all the way” to Zagreb to choose an outfit in which she will be buried. Intrigued, I set out to research it further and it has slowly revealed itself to be a custom that still some (and mostly) women are practicing. I knew that project will be a challenge on so many levels, finding participants, then filming them and photographing such intimate belongings and many more...But I guess it is the challenge that makes it so enticing and an inner need to further explore what is behind the idea. The whole project for me is about intimately engaging with lives of women whose identities have been shaped by turbulent historical, political and cultural currents. The ritual in a way serves as a form of a window into exploring questions related to social and cultural construction of death and dying and through that questioning our relationship to living. The project is also in some respect a continuation of Graduation Dresses series of photographs, whereby I photograph young women in their personal spaces wearing their graduation dresses, all of which have been made by my mother (who runs a sewing business from her flat in Bosnia) and all the dresses are based on an image of a dress from haute couture designer or a celebrity. During my first journey in Autumn 2006, I met, recorded interviews and photographed eleven women and the clothes in which they wish to be buried. One of the women I photographed is shown in the previous post, Liza from Donja Vrba, a small village next to Slavonski Brod, in Croatia (where I was born).I will write more on the previous reasearch trip another time as my mind is firmly fixed on tomorrow's or rather today's journey. In the last week I have been buying some touristy presents in one of those touristy shops on Oxford street. My cousin in Croatia last time advised me that it would be nice if I could get a small something to give as a present to women I photograph (apart from the coffee and a sweet which I usually bring), like the fridge magnets or after eight mints. So, I just can't resist but upload an image from one of the fridge magnets I bought, true piece of London, and of course via China! Then I also bought some Earl Grey tea, and that is also from China. What about dark chocolate and mint combination?... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 This one is going to be a long one as I try and catch up…Arrived to Zagreb, Croatia on Thursday afternoon, after an amusing flight where I sat next to two! Pilots who usually fly for Pakistan Airways, this time they were on route to Dubrovnik for a worldwide pilot conference (imagine 2000 pilots in one place, who will fly the planes then?). As they took seriously their role of explaining to me the intricacies of flying, I wasn’t sure if this newly acquired knowledge will finally liberate me from my schizophrenic relationship to flying. In Zagreb, I checked in a nice Youth Hostel situated right next to the large and imposing chocolate factory ‘Kras’. As I was approaching the hostel, I could smell the sweet almost sickly smell of caramel in the air, and wandered if people who live here eat too much or none chocolate, as I doubt one can stay unaffected by this giant. (talking of chocolate, the mint chocolate went down a treat; maybe I should buy some Kras chocolate and bring it back to London as souvenirs)Friday was filled with meetings. I had a chat with one of the curators of PM Gallery, an artist run space, in an unusual building, usually referred as ‘the mosque’. Its history is interesting, it was built following the plan of sculptor Ivan Mestrovic. In 1941, by a decree of the president of the Independent State of Croatia (Ante Pavelic known for its links to Nazi Germany), the House was closed and transformed into a mosque. Stucco decorations and three minarets were added following the project of the architect S. Planic. The museum of People's Liberation was founded in 1945.The minarets were pulled down in 1949. The returning of the building to the artists was requested with the exhibition called Documents-Arguments, and the request was fulfilled in 1991. The reconstruction of the building started in 2000.For more info on the gallery and photos following the historical transformation please visit their site http://www.hdlu.hr/AboutUs.html Had a fascinating meeting with Ethnologist at the Museum of Ethnography, Zagreb. She told me that in the early 1900 pregnant women would make a procession with their best clothes or their wedding dress before giving birth as in those days birth represented a risk, a potential death. This stayed with me, that women lived with that choice and vivid possibility of dying in order to give birth to a child. How many women gave their lives so that we as a human race continue? I almost feel uncomfortable putting it in such heroic term, but it is a form of heroism, no?! This was followed by a nice lunch with Renata whom I met last time at the Institute of Ethnology and Folklore, and who has been very supportive of my project, even faxing me some info she dug out during one of her own research trips to Sarajevo. She is a sharp writer, so I snapped up a book, co-edited by her, titled ‘Od Roda do Naroda’, translated as ‘From Gender to the Nation’, which sounds really interesting. I also snapped up a book ‘Ethnology of Proximity: Poetics and Politics of Contemporary Fieldwork’, which I hope will be helpful in terms of research and fieldwork that is ahead of me. The Institute of Ethnology and Folklore is a brilliant snazzy organisation publishing timely and reflexive research on the contemporary societal matters. http://www.ief.hr/I wanted to see a few more galleries, and as they are open until 8pm! I was able to visit gallery Miroslav Kraljevic, who was showing work by a young artist from Turkey Ahmet Ogut. Curious work, exploring masculity or rather the impossibility of masculity - especially in a video piece ‘The Death Kit Train” where a large group of man are pushing a car, or rather few man are pushing a car and the rest of them are pushing those which are pushing the car. www.g-mk.hrAnother space worth checking out is Nano Gallery, which is hidden inside an archway but central enough to be found. It is a small space currently showing contemporary art projects, which are existing solely on the internet, their web page is www.artenativa.hr/reload.htmI ended up talking with the gallery assistant and it transpired that she also lived in London in the early 1990’s. We started chatting more and really got on, ended up being joined by one of her friends and going for a drink in the nearby bar. Both of them were disillusioned by the current situation in Croatia and felt that the nationalism and provincialism were still very present. She regretted that she came back from London, and I almost felt a tinge of guilt for having stayed in London. We had a thoroughly good chat about everything including the Croatian Venice Biennale scandal – having changed their mind at the last minute about whom they want to represent Croatia. (first it was going to be David Maljkovic but then under shady circumstances it was decided that it will be artist Ivana Franke). I am not aware of their work, so will look them both up!I should just add another great space which I managed to visit, it is Nova Gallery ran by a very interesting curatorial group WHW (What, How & for Whom) which were showing an exhibition temporary services motherfuckers www.temporaryservices.org + some info about WHW http://www.projekt-relations.de/de/explore/zagreb/veranstaltung.php All this in one day and I was ready for a trip towards my sweet, sickly chocolate factory.The following day I had enough time to meet with Dona, whom I met last Autumn. She is an Anthropologist writing an MA thesis on Sefardic Jewish women who came as refugees from Sarajevo to Zagreb, in the ‘last war’, and who live in the home for elderly people. When we met last year, we talked about possibly working together, if it transpires that the women she is in contact with have prepared such clothes and of course if they are willing to take part. Dona updated me that she spoke with the caretaker who will find out and who will this week get back to Dona if and when it will be possible to interview and photograph the women. She also explained that the Care home has taken upon itself to make special white gowns and white scarves for those women who express a wish in being buried in that way. She will find out who sews them and perhaps there is more to it…So, I should know this week if I will be going to Zagreb for a few days.One month does not feel enough for all the research I want to do.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 I’d like to share some musings on 'nostalgia' I just had with a friend of mind Ansuman Biswas, who is currently in India, on a an Arts Council England Research Placement at HP Labs, India. His blog is http://diffractionbangalore.blogspot.com/Hi Margareta,What you say early on about nostalgia for 'home' really resonated with me. What happens when you visit somewhere without that halo of emotion, and start relating to it as just another place? I certainly felt that happening as I came back to India last week. After less than three weeks in London!HI Ansuman,glad it resonated with you, yes, it is interesting that lack of nostalgia this time. The transition from one place to another seems more seamless...and I feel more grounded...I thought that meant that I am not ready, but maybe I was more ready then any other time?I was thinking that this time you are actually living in India, rather then visiting, so it is more real, also more close, more intimate...Is nostalgia a way of keeping the idea of home intact whilst on some level not engaging with the reality, with what's really there?Hi Margareta,I constantly want what I haven't got. I'm surrounded by fields of desire. In fact I'm nothing but the landscape. As I realize that the greenness of the grass, on the other side of a fence I build, is only an optical illusion, I learn to stay put. What's left when I'm not looking somewhere else? That's when the real work starts. But that's only if I can avoid the incessant hurdling of fences insearch of the ultimate green grass. Or the stagnation of nostalgia, which as you rightly say, can be a buffer against reality.All this applies, I think, not just to place, but also to action, insofar as all action is based on desire. With each new satisfaction, if addiction can be wrestled down, the craving for more may be understood and quenched.Eventually the wisest thing to do is nothing.Takes a lot of hurdling to get there though. Which is I guess why we're travelling the world. Have fun!Hi Ansuman,That is beautiful said, I can feel the meditation just by reading your words. Doing nothing for me is about creating connection with stillness which is so important in order to see how it all works, nostalgia, desire, action...But it is an ongoing challenge for me to 'do nothing', especially here, with so many undercurrents present. I can feel them - childhood memories, familiar smells, learnt behaviour, all of it has such power. It is seductive and repulsive at the same time. There are so many deep deep levels in which to understand 'going home' and 'being home', and yes, it takes a lot of hurdling...But like you say maybe that's why we keep travelling...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 I am still formulating so many thoughts and digesting events of this week. So much happened and I am forever amazed at the resourcefulness and generosity of people here. The first couple of days were spent contacting various people, mostly speaking to women who are my mother’s customers and friends. Everyone has been so open and willing to help out. One of my mother’s friends said that her mother in law has mentioned recently about the clothes she has prepared. But, when she asked her mother in law if she would be willing to have the clothes photographed she refused. And this is one of the challenges of this project, the subject of death is a sensitive one and therefore asking people to ask their grandmothers, mothers, aunties, neighbours is a tricky one, and clothes for death are personal and intimate belongings, therefore not many people want to share them with others then the family.Having said that, today I visited Marija, who is going to be 94 on the 18th April, she was born in 1913! I was introduced to her by a friend who is a nurse, and who as part of her job is visiting elderly at home. She also helped me last year with the project. Marija is being cared for at home, living with her family. During the civil war she had to escape her home and come as a refugee, walking from Sanski Most to Banja Luka (around 80km). Amongst very few things she brought with her is a dress she sewed herself (she used to be a seamstress) and which she wants to wear when she dies. I photographed her with her dress laid out next to her…I also recorded some her remarkable life stories…Having survived three! wars, she remembers (however patchy) various armies, regimes and changes of the governments. Her grandson, who is a journalist, set next to her, and prodded her to say various bits of stories…the one that really stays with me is from WW2, about a German soldier who ran into her house and started crying; she was startled by this and hid in one of the rooms, when this soldier had a good cry he told her to keep quiet and went outside…... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 I wrote the last post with a heavy heart. Yesterday, as I was walking to the part of town where I grew up, to visit my father, I felt a sense of ease come upon me at the thought of acknowledging the impossibility of writing about complex emotions that being here and doing the project evokes in me. Perhaps there is an inherent failure in trying to conjure up the words when they are not ready, when I am not ready.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 I have finally found a bit of time and space to try and focus on finding a few words. The last few days have been eventful…I have been talking to many, many people about the project and about the search for women who prepare clothes in which they wish to be buried. I have been showing the photographs from the last research trip, and the feedback has been very encouraging. The process of research has developed an interesting dynamic: other people are asking other (mostly) women if they know someone who has prepared such clothes. This vast network of women is expanding and I feel as though my work is filtering through to many people, in this different format, it is becoming a performative relational work.Conversations have sprung up here and there as women discuss their memories of their mothers, aunties, neighbours etc having such clothes prepared, as they discuss the portrait of women in photographs and their almost nostalgic view on the aesthetic of their grandmothers which they recognise in some of the photographes, the domestic spaces too evoke so many memories and feelings and more…I went and spoke to women’s group ‘Duga’ (Duga is a non-governmental organisation which organises a range of activities for and by women). One of the women mentioned that her late aunt had prepared everything including a small mirror, thread and a needle, about which she is still perplexed. We had a good chat, and they said they will ask around and find out.There have also been a few misunderstandings as some people thought I was looking for traditional folk clothes and women to be photographed in their ethno village surrounding. I nearly went on a long bus trip into town where very generously a group of colleagues (of a friend) offered to help. A phone call later and I had to cancel the trip because they didn’t realise I was looking specifically for the ‘funeral clothes’ (as some people also call it), and when I explained the nature of the research they said that this was too sensitive and they were uncomfortable asking on my behalf. This happened again yesterday as I went to a village near Banja Luka. A friend of my mother is a doctor, who asked one of her patient if she could help me out. This woman then collected from the village all the traditional folk clothes. When I turned up at her house, after we all had a cup of very strong black coffee, she showed me the room where she laid out all the traditional folk garments. It was very sweet of her to have gone into so much trouble and I had to be very sensitive not to offend her in saying that I was specifically looking for clothes which has someone personally prepared. Tactfully, I did explain myself, but also I photographed the traditional folk garments she laid out – there were beautiful pieces of clothing, all handmade and hand-woven. She had also arranged for a man in the village who collects old traditional objects to show them to me. I really liked his one string instrument called ‘gusle’ which he made himself from the wood; on one end of ‘gusle’ he carved a symbol of the birth of the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia (also known as SFRJ) and on the other end he carved a church from his place of birth. I tried to gather which one came first, as in his ‘gusle’ a whole history could be sung – from religion to socialism and back – but his answer was a bit slippery…I think the socialist sign came first but am not sure. (Gusle is a traditional instrument used for singing songs of historical and epic content, so it is fitting to have such symbols carved into it).I wanted to speak directly to one of the women from the village who have ‘donated’ folk clothes for the shoot, as I was hoping that I still may find that one of them has prepared such clothes. After driving through muddy and narrow road we reached one house, but the woman there said that she is too young for preparing clothes for death. But a woman we visited in the second house said she has such clothes and agreed to be photographed. Yes, I was so pleased to have persevered in my detective work. Her clothes were all kept in a yellow ‘Camel’ bag, and were prepared by her daughter in law who lives with her son in Switzerland. I photographed her and her clothes, and filmed a short interview about her preparation, and reaction to a very organised daughter in law. In my previous journey I tended to photograph clothes and then portrait but now I am trying to capture them all together, within the domestic setting.I decided that I won’t post images of the women and their clothes yet, as it still all too fresh, plus images I have available are from a small digital camera whereas the final piece will be photographs from the medium format camera. This is also a new experience as I recently purchased Mamiya 7ii and am absolutely loving it. I am a bit concerned about the flimsiness of the negative as it comes in these rather open looking roles which when changing the film I very carefully take out and keep in a dark box. It should all hopefully work out as I did some tests before going on the project to try out different negs, exposures, camera etc which was a very useful exercise.And finally to add to this lengthy blog that I have been thinking more about my ambivalent relationship to blogging and I think it has something to do with the fact that I am working on a sensitive and personal subject, many people are involved in either taking part or helping me to find the participants and I feel huge responsibility of being fare to everyone involved. Negotiating the personal nature of the project with the very public nature of the web site is part of the tension of blogging that I feel and will see how I negotiate these spaces.Tomorrow I am taking a train to Mostar, where I will be picked up by an Orthodox priest with whom I will be stationed for couple of days. He has kindly offered to help with the project. I am so looking forward to this new unknown chapter.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 After eight hour train journey from Banja Luka to Mostar via Sarajevo, pulled by a train engine on which it said ‘Republika Srpska Rails’ and upon arriving to Mostar the engine has become ‘Federation of Bosnia and Herzegovina Rails’ I arrived to a depressing looking train station in Mostar and was picked up by an Orthodox priest and his priest trainee (also a Theology student). {Bosnia and Herzegovina is divided into two parts Republika Srpska and the Federation – sounding like something from the star wars. Even my train ticket had a different pricing for different ‘entities’ as they call them.}When we spoke on the phone prior to meeting at the station the priest described himself as wearing the priest robes (at which point I didn’t bother giving him my description) as it definitely wasn’t difficult to recognise him in long black cloak, and a black cap. It took us an hour on a windy road up a mountain to reach Nevesinje, a small town where he lived with his family (Orthodox priests can merry), running an Orthodox church. I was so intrigued about their lives, having grown up in the socialist Yugoslavia, and not having much contact with religion. (I remember as a child staying with my mother’s family in Croatia and thinking that God only existed there as they were the only people I knew who went to church and who had the scary looking pictures of angels and other dramatic looking characters.) So we chatted rather informally in the car, me quizzing them about priesthood, them describing me their ‘career’ paths, of studying Theology, which lasts four years, then one can do Masters etc etc and e.g for four years one of the subjects is a History of Religion and even though they primarily train to be priests in the Orthodox tradition, they for example learn about Islam for an academic year and so on. They dropped me off to a private accommodation where I was to stay with a family, who run a sort of B&B, or village tourism. The priest told me of a two women who agreed to be photographed, and accompanied by a driver, a priest assistant and dodgy old golf (now that’s what I call doing the fieldwork in style) we set off the following day to our first visit. Ljubica lived in Nevesinje, and we were welcomed by her and her daughter. I negotiated where we should take photographs, and managed to convince her to take them in her bedroom, as there were five people in the by now very smokey living room (it never ceases to amaze me how much people smoke here - a friend in Banja Luka told me it is the curse of the third world countries).I always leave to the women to arrange how they want to present the clothes; it is their personal choice how they spread it out and nearly everyone immediately has their own notion of how they like it to be arranged for photographing. I am forever plagued by the questions of ethics as this practice of entering personal places and ‘taking’ a photograph is on some level exploitative and I am constantly asking myself if I have explained correctly what the photograph is for, and even though I do ask for signatures on a model release form, a sense of having taken something away stays with me. After the first visit we drove another half an hour to the village nearby, accompanied by a daughter of the second woman who agreed to be photographed. There, we were offered a coffee, which I must not drink anymore as it is so strong and black that couple of those a day and my heart begins to jump a beat. The family lived in a basic village condition, growing their own food and I thought it was interesting that in the UK I pay so much money for the organic food and farming in the organic way has become a bit of a middle class thing - thinking here of that programme, was it on the BBC about a young couple running their organic farm, he reminded me a bit on Jamie Oliver, and the whole series had this sexy farming message written all over it.I will write more again, as I try to catch up on the last week…but right now I am going to catch up on much needed sleep!... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 This blog is a bit non-chronological as I try to catch up on the last week’s journey and events…The train journey and the impossibility of taking photographs:The train glided slowly through Bosnia – Doboj, Kakanj, Zenica, reaching Sarajevo and on to Herzegovina reaching Mostar. The remains of the war were sticking out like scars. Ruined buildings, with bullet holes still dotting the walls, banks of rivers covered with plastic bags… New mosques, new churches, full cemeteries…It was painful to see the level of poverty and division that is present everywhere I looked. Train station names have been erased depending on the entity, cyrilic ones have been erased in Federation, and latinic ones if in Republika Srpska so one was in no doubt in whose territory one is at any time…When I talked about my pain of seeing such poverty and division to my partner he asked me if I took some photographs. I replied that I couldn’t be a tourist in my own country (but I am some sort of a visitor) and that I couldn’t bring myself to take photographs. It is as though I felt anaesthetised and from that numbness couldn’t create… I was able in the evening to jot down only a few disjointed words, in my own language this time (I predominantly write in English).Ne mogu fotografisati oronule zgrade, ostatke rata, balkone sa odjecom, smece rasuto…Ta ideja mene kao turiste boli, nema dovoljno distance, zemlja suvise bliska…I can not photograph ruined buildings, war remains, balconies with clothes, rubbish strewn…The idea of me as a tourist hurts, there is not enough distance, the land is too close…I am beginning to understand what Theodor Adorno meant when he commented that "writing poetry after Auschwitz is barbaric”.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 I am struck by the way women keep their pieces of clothing, wrapped in a sheet, or in travel bags, plastic bags, suitcases… One of the women, Jovana, who is 97 years old, pulled out a dusty old suitcase from underneath the bed and inside of it was a floral dress, long woollen socks (which she probably knitted), petticoat and many family photographs. It was as though she was preparing for a journey and needed to be ready at any moment...The Orthodox priest told me that in his view, the custom of preparing clothes for death (or funeral as some also say) comes from the tradition of preparing one’s best suit or a dress for the Sunday mass and preparing for the meeting with God. A person needed to be ready and in its ‘Sunday’s best’ when meeting God…This stayed with me and I think he has definitely touched on some of the religious background to this still mysterious custom.I met a woman whose husband researched wedding and funeral customs in Nevesinje, in the 1950’s. She published his book posthumously and gave me one copy of the book as a gift, Obrad Micov Samardzic, “The Orthodox Weddings and Funeral Customs in Nevesinje” . Even though he focused mostly on the wedding rituals there is an interesting chapter relating to the preparation for the funeral. In it he writes that it is important to wear ‘a beautiful and new suit’ as after the funeral ‘the women will talk about the way he was buried’. Even though his text is written from a very patriarchal perspective it does give a clue as to why presentation even when dead is very important. This seems to be particularly at play in small places and communities, and in those traditions where body is seen by others.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 I am writing this from Zagreb, from a friend of mines computer. We met each other today after more then fifteen years. I cant believe it...such a long time...He left, like myself at the beginning of the war, in 1992. His whole family left then, exchanging a house with a family in Croatia who then came to live in Bosnia...We chatted for hours, so much to say, and to get to know each other again...He hasnt been back to Banja Luka, where he grew up, for fifteen years. So, in a way, I was-am a connection to the past and possibly to the future...We agreed he must visit...Home that he imagines has become a picture in his mind, perhaps fiction, perhaps not, but it seems so important to make the physical and emotional connection again... This afternoon I spent some time in the Home for Jewish Elderly, together with Dona Danon, an Anthropologist (who has kindly offered to help with this part of my research as she is writing an MA Theses on Sefardic Jewish women). She found out that there is a woman who is sewing the clothes for burial especially for the residents of the home, but we were not sure if the women themselves prepared anything. The seamstress was there when we arrived and had prepared the clothing, laid out with a dark sheet underneath, looking quite sombre and rather institutional. The clothing for burial consisted of the white dress which looked like a sleeping gown, the white scarve and the white socks. I was curious to find out from her that men were buried in the same clothing as the women, in the white gowns. She believed that there wasnt much deviation in terms of preparing a different type of clothing. After this Dona spoke with a few women with whom she has established a relationship through her research and none of them had prepared such clothing (partly because the Home took care). I was greatful that she asked, as it is such a sensitive thing to ask, and through the past few weeks of speaking to the women myself I appreciated more the delicate nature of the project. On Tuesday, I met a woman who had prepared everything, but didnt want to be photographed. When I asked her why not, she said its just something inside...We spent the rest of the afternoon chatting to a vivacious woman, in her 80s who told us many interesting facts about her life. She told us that the most tolerance she experienced was during the 1st Yugoslavia (which was the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovens), she said all the religions were respected and given space...She also spoke about Mesa Selimovic, one of my favourite writers, which has shaped so much of my adolescent thinking and writing aspirations...He used to visit her home, and spend long times chatting to her father...She tought this was because his relationship to his father was very distant. I have to admit it was so exotic listening such personal tales about a writer I admire so much.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 This morning I went to Donja Vrba, to give photographs to Marija, Liza and Ana, three women I photographed last year. They all live in a small village near Slavonski Brod in Croatia. First I visited Marija, who lives in a large, old house. When I met her last year she was in good health, very chatty, with strong features and clear eyes. Today, she was laying in bed, looking quite weak and pale, with her daughter looking after her. Her daughter said that it was good we visited today as this Wednesday she due to have an operation. Marija was so happy I came by and she really liked the photographs. It is such an amazing feeling when the people one photographs really like the photo. It makes me feel as though the whole project is worth it, and that connection that is created during this act of sharing is very powerful. All that uncertainty seems worth bearing…I really like Marija, she is a strong woman, who I believe will pull through…Is she more ready for the day then some of us who have not prepared our clothes and the whole attire for the final moment, I wouldn’t know…I also met Liza, whom I photographed in the amazing room with beautifully embroidered clothing (see image in the first blog). She was well and liked the picture very much, saying that she will frame it immediately. Ana, whom I visited last was there with her family and responded generously too. All three of them asked how much money they owed me for the photographs, which was very sweet…I felt the owing is more from me to them… Their kindness was healing…Tomorrow I am on the road again. This time I am joined by Marcus, my husband, and we will be making our way to Mala Pilica, near Bijeljina, east Bosnia. There a friend of mine, Zeljka, has done good work in finding women who are wiling to have their clothes for death photographed…... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 I have just returned from a three day trip to Pilica, near Bijeljina in the east part of Bosnia and Herzegovina, right on the border with Serbia. Zeljka, whom I met in London last year spoke to her grandmother about the project who in turn spoke to the women in her village. By the time I got there on Tuesday she told me that 6! women have agreed to take part. Incredible! Firstly we visited her grandmother, Mila, who lives in an old house alone. We chatted for a while with her, looking at the family photo albums which span from early 1940’s onwards (the best photo was of a Santa Claus in a red suit, with the five star on his hat, and a picture of Tito in the background) whilst polishing off a wonderfully delicious Easter cake. Mila guided us from house to house introducing us to the women and looking after us...Whilst photographing I became more and more aware of the moments of stillness present between myself and the person I am photographing. Before pressing the button I allowed time for the person to ‘forget’ for a moment (or an 8th, 15th of a second) that they are being photographed… There was a process of waiting, not too long otherwise they start fidgeting too much, or wondering if I have finished. Waiting for them to become a bit more accustomed to the odd situation of there being a stranger in their home photographing them and their clothes, their dear and personal belongings…Their clothing or rather the whole attire for death consisted of a hand made cotton and silk white skirt, a colourful cilim (kilim carpet), one woman had a beautiful black waistcoat which are made by specially trained tailor, hand knitted ‘priglavci’ - long socks, underwear, hand made ‘pokrov’ which is a white cotton sheet that is laid out underneath the body, candles, one woman even had a shirt for a priest, and pieces of textile clothing for the women who will wash and clothe her when she dies... Their pillows were interesting, one woman had a pillow from Germany (and I saw this at another woman’s death attire, I photographed last week in Banja Luka) which was made from velvet and had Oriental motifs on it. For one of them this was the first time that they have shown the clothes to someone other then their neighbours (as quite often it is amongst the neighbours that the washing and clothing would happen), and some have never shown it to their daughters or closest ones…There was a case that the daughters saw the clothes for the first time only by seeing the photographs (this happened with two women whose mothers’ I photographed last year). I asked them if they want to see the photographers, as didn’t want to impose such emotional subject on them…I have become a visual messenger, hopefully making it easier for the women I photographed to approach the subject with their dearest ones, and hopefully my intervention in their lives is not further unsettling them…... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 My month of being in Bosnia and Herzegovina and Croatia is nearing its end…I am due to come back to the UK on Tuesday and now I wonder if I am ready to come back…or rather would I be back this Tuesday if my ticket hasn’t been booked (see my 1st post)? I’ve begun to get used to the last minute planning that is a common way of operating and organising here and as much as it can be a bit frustrating it is also quite liberating. I used Banja Luka as my base, staying at my mother’s flat, which has been a bit like staying in a tailoring salon – she runs a made to measure sewing business from her flat and one of my current and ongoing projects involves me photographing young women for whom she has made a graduation dress, based on images of celebrities in magazines, Internet, TV etc – see Graduation Dresses project on my site. Whilst in Banja Luka I made connections with some great people who are working hard on trying to map an interesting cultural landscape amidst an economic and political situations which does not always allow flexibility and fluidity needed and necessary for creative work. Having seen and been impressed by a documentary film called ‘Posao Snova’ or ‘Dream Job’ made by Danijela Majstorovic, shown at the Riverside Studios in London, I decided to contact her (as I found out she lives in Banja Luka). We had a coffee and really clicked, sharing many similar interests and concerns regarding the culture and media in relation to the gender identities, specifically identity of the women in the Balkans. She is a bright, intelligent woman who works for the Philosophy University, English section, and who in turn introduced me to another bunch of interesting women amongst whom are Darija and Tijana who are organising first ever International Festival of Short Film in Banja Luka, and are putting their heart and soul into the project. The festival is called KRATKOFIL and more info can be found http://www.kratkofil.org/I heard about a very interesting project, by artist Mladen Miljanovic, who has based himself inside a former army barrack for nine months – he said that “he has served in the army for nine months and now he wants to serve art for nine moths”. More info on his project “I Serve Art” can be found here http://www.iserveart.net (best to view in Safari or any browser other then the Firefox). And just as I thought that all that’s left to do is pack all my films and camera equipment and get the suitcases ready I get a call from Duga – women’s organisation running ethno gallery and workshops for/by women. They made ‘Pokrov’, the white sheet that forms part of death attire, for a woman who lives near to Banja Luka and who agreed for me to visit and photograph her. And as much as was pleased to have got a contact of a new woman wiling to be photographed, I was also very pleased to feel the support for the project. This is the support that I felt all the way through my stay here, from the people of all backgrounds, ages and professions offering their time, contacts and advice. I was – am very touched…... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 This afternoon I decided to visit the artist in the former army barracks and find out more about his project (wrote a bit about him in the previous post). After a bit of searching through the former military base which has now been converted into the University campus and after seeing some amazing spaces crying out to be made into studios or gallery spaces, we met Mladen. We struck a conversation and spent the following couple of hours hearing about his brilliant self imposed ‘art serving’. Mladen like most men in Bosnia and Herzegovina had to serve in the Army. Once he finished his army service he studied art at the Banja Luka Arts Academy, which during his studies moved to the former army barracks. He felt at this point that he needed to address this change in location and the whole narrative around the military service. In October last year he started his ‘art service’ and has not since left the University campus, lodging in the students accommodation and working either in his studio or in the surrounding area, which still resembles the military training ground. Every day he takes a photograph of himself standing and facing a point marked in turn on the map of the area. He also makes a piece of work every day, one of which he is holding in his hand in the photo shown here. Hope you can see his work and the image with text, I am also posting a close up of it. His work is really excellent, dealing cleverly with the army ideology, its position in the post-war society and incorporating a certain army aesthetic into his work by using for example helmets to pot flowers in, or old helmets with bullet holes with Xmas lights or creating drawing by shooting through the plaster boards etc. His site is www.iserveart.net... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 This morning I visited Bosiljka, whose contact I got from Duga (women’s organisation). Bosiljka and her husband came to Banja Luka in 1995 from Sanski Most as refugees, and lived with their son until they saved enough money to purchase the land and build a house. I thought they received some assistance from the government maybe through an EU or the Worldbank scheme, but they told me that they didn’t receive any assistance from the government. Bosiljka also told me that the first thing she packed as she was leaving Sanski Most was her clothes for death. She was very open and direct about her clothes, showing it to her granddaughters that were also present there. In her death attire she had quite a few hand-embroidered sheets, including the one made by Duga under her instructions. This sheet is called ‘pokrov’ and is usually placed on the top of the casket. She also had the same pillow I keep seeing, purchased in either in Germany or Austria, which seems to be an object often bought by the ‘gastarbeiter’ or the ‘guest-workers’ as they are known in those countries (seeds of another project as I am more and more intrigued by the guest workers aesthetics and value system as it is taken from the German/Austrian/Swiss society, adopted and transformed into the guest workers home environment…I interviewed my grandparents a bit about their experience of working in Germany from the 1970’s until 1990…fascinating stuff and room for more exploration…)... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 It’s been now ten days since I’ve been back to the UK and as soon as I arrived I went to Manchester where my work was showing as part of Make It a Better Place exhibition, curated by artist Dinu Li. Had a wonderful time there, making that transition from one place to another seamless and strengthening that sense of on one hand placelessness and on the other a sense of greater and deeper centeredness. (do this ness words exist?) I quite like that time when one has arrived and at the same time not quite there, I find that I am both at the same time more alert to noticing minor details around me I never noticed before and at the same time am not quite present, as if my mind is still catching up, is somewhere else...On the way back whilst sitting on a train, memory flashing back to the train journey from Banja Luka to Mostar I again jotted a few words down (see the impossibility of taking photographs earlier blog post…).I don’t sense disaster in this landscapeit all seems calm.people in their houseslights ondinner is being served.I try to relaxas the train glides through.Everything seems normal.(could anything go wrong now?)I half expect to see holesin the terraced houseslining up the street(bullet holes that is)and yet they seem intactredand white.Fields seem in order motorways too.Outside it is slowly getting darkand more menacing as we approach London.Yesterday I picked up my negatives and contact sheets – 47 of them! Well pleased and intend to post some images here soon.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 This is Desa's clothes in which she wishes to be buried in, all wrapped up into a bundle. I quite like the way these pieces are folded together. One starts unfolding it in one's mind in order to work out what each piece is...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 A week ago I visited ICIA – Institute of Interdisciplinary Contemporary Arts at the University of Bath where I have been offered me a solo show, with Clothes for Death project, starting in September this year. The exhibition will open as part of the international conference ‘The Social Context of Death, Dying and Disposal, and as my abstract got accepted I will also be speaking at the conference. More info on the exhibition and conference prep closer to time…I’m still in the process of looking through, sorting and choosing images. And I’m not even sure why I say still, it’s as though I imagined it to be a quick straightforward thing and it isn’t. I am going through a process of negotiation between my initial gut reactions and what could be perceived and termed more distant, conscious decision making. Which makes me wander about the relationship of physical and psychological space-closeness-distance to image making and image viewing.Having spent some time looking through the magnifying glass, enlarging the image 8x, I could get to see quite a bit of detail, face expressions, their gazes…I feel as though I fall back into that space; I remember the whole space not just what the camera captured, and I don’t think I could ever step further then the confines of the room. On one level I feel freer to now observe the image for as long as I want, free from the pressures of the social interactions, and gentle tensions which are present (at least in me) upon entering their homes. Currently I’m scanning some of the contact sheets so to have another way of looking at the image; and am posting here one of the photographs of Rosa and Cvijeta with their Clothes for Death. I’ve also decided to book uber-neg-scanner at Photofusion for £35 an hour (ouch!) so I will have to make clear decisions soon as no time to fluff about at this rate!... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 ...something odd is happening with this blog, I can't edit the last post or add images, let's see if I'm luckier with this one...A week ago I visited ICIA – Institute of Interdisciplinary Contemporary Arts at the University of Bath where I have been offered a solo show, with Clothes for Death project, starting in September this year. The exhibition will open as part of an international conference ‘The Social Context of Death, Dying and Disposal, and as my abstract got accepted I will also be speaking at the conference. More info on the exhibition and conference prep closer to time…I’m still in the process of looking through, sorting and choosing images. And I’m not even sure why I say still, it’s as though I imagined it to be a quick straightforward thing and it isn’t. I am going through a process of negotiation between my initial gut reactions and what could be perceived and termed more distant, conscious decision making. Which makes me wander about the relationship of physical and psychological space-closeness-distance to image making and image viewing.Having spent some time looking through the magnifying glass, enlarging the image 8x, I could get to see quite a bit of detail, face expressions, their gazes…I feel as though I fall back into that space; I remember the whole space not just what the camera captured, and I don’t think I could ever step further then the confines of the room. On one level I feel freer to now observe the image for as long as I want, free from the pressures of the social interactions, and gentle tensions which are present (at least in me) upon entering their homes. Currently I’m scanning some of the contact sheets so to have another way of looking at the image; and am posting here one of the photographs of Rosa and Cvijeta with their Clothes for Death. I’ve also decided to book uber-neg-scanner at Photofusion for £35 an hour (ouch!) so I will have to make clear decisions soon as no time to fluff about at this rate!... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 Yesterday I heard that Marija, whom I photographed last year, and visited this year (see 9th April post) has died. I felt a sudden thump in my belly and a sense of loss that has stayed with me...She died one month ago, so it must have happened soon after I visited her to give her the photographs...Time is an odd thing and I was glad to have made the time to visit her before her departure...I am thinking about this connection I have now made with the women I photographed and with their families, it is a strange and wonderful burden to bear...one I am still trying to work out...I will add some images in my next post...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946 So, yes, I have made the selection (for now at least) from 450 images!!! Posting here are a few of the selected images...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/384946