http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408490 surviving in a clown's world Sun, 12 Oct 2008 16:55:07 +0100 a-n rss generator a-n The Artists Information Company and contributors edit@a-n.co.uk technical@a-n.co.uk http://sites.a-n.co.uk/img/logo.gif http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408490 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408490 The mechanical routine of every day life is beginning to bore me. people walk.something is not right i feel like i want to climb a tree and do a mating call, or else hunt down a pig or something. The industrialization of the world only started less than three hundred year's ago yet i feel vulnreble if i leave my house without my mobile phone. i sit on my sofa and burn the earth's natural resource's at a significant cost to the natural enviroment. and i pay to go to a gym to waste the natural energy that has been provided for my survival. The human race has undoubtedly lost touch with their natural instinct's because the world that we have built inside the world is not our natural environment. as i say the mechanical routine of everyday is beggining to bore me. Part of me wants to experience what i was built for, but i am lazy. society may have made me this way. or maybe that is the lame excuse of a hypocrite. i must admit i enjoy the defects that civilization has allowed me.i enjoy binge drinking and harry potter.the rest is all superficial.    ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408490 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408490 pooooooooooooo ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408490 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408490  i have realized how much i need to conform to be able to protest. to carry out my work there are endless health and safety forms, i have to ask permission. and i am carrying out these tasks. i am behaving and my behaving is a contradiction to the statement i am making, yet i love the irony. the very nature of the way i behave is hypocritical. my protest against the everyday, is the everyday. i think i can almost live with that as my behavior reflects that of the civilized people in general. and i like to feel that i am not disappearing.  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408490 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408490 i'm waiting for tuesday to happen. hopefully it's not going to rain what happens when you disrupt the mechanical routine of the everyday? Totnes has much less of a routine than most places.i did a performance in the rhubarb cafe in plymouth last night. i did some clown stuff , i don't think british people get the clown as much as European's. my clown is such a misfit. i wish everyone were clown, chris the clown said that we'd live for free.i feel so young and radical, i know i'm going to look back on the phase that i'm going through right now in 30 years and think, what a prat i was back then.i'm a very serious clown, the only thing that makes me a clown is that i look so stupid. and i don't mind being laughed at. i like it when people laugh at me. my academic work is beginning to bother me. because i'm beginning to take myself too seriously. i 'm even taking the fact that i 'm taking my self too seriously, seriously. so what's the next questionmaybe can the clown be political?the act of being non-political is very political.lets read tricks of the trade first. and perhaps maybe what happens in intimate spaces?not such a good question, lots of things happen in intimate spaces.why am i performing in an intimate space?i want to smell my audience, i want to know them, yet i don't want them to know me, the mask is good for that. they can know some of me but me ideal. yet i will know them real because they will be vulnerable and unsuspecting and there eyes will tell me the truth. should my eye tell the truth, the clown doesn't act. i'm so good at acting that noone notices that I'm acting and they all think that this is me. god that was easier in spain where i couldn't and didn't talk, and everybody could see me as a nice stupid funny clown, and when i come here everybody is exposed to my verbal diarrhea, all of sudden i'm not as stupid or funny anymore. and i did get angry once in barcelona when i was called stupid. i love it and i hate it. it is such a gift to have a stupid face like mine.  like for instance i got pulled over for speeding today and i just gave the policeman a really vacant smile and told him that i was dying for the toilet and he let me go. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408490 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408490 i 'm a vain mother fuckerwhy does noone ever use the swear word son of a bitch.costume's are difficult i put myself in a bloody good costume if you don't mind me saying so. however i have to dress my steward and i have to dress them so that people want to be near them and get into my tent, i'm thinking yellow. but when you start fixating on one thing, bad things might happen. i'm definately thinking yellow though. yellow, yellow, yellow. i feel quite excited about this work, i think it might be the only thing i have ever made that i like, although once i did a painting of the last judgement in Technicolor that was pretty cool. i know i have done some stuff that's technically good. but i fucking hate the lot of it. i like this, which means everyone else will probably hate it. but i did it and doing it satisfies my soul.so on tuesday i am going to be in my installation in the rain, in bloody brilliant costume for two and half hours waiting for someone to join me.     ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408490