http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 Getting Somewhere Tue, 14 Oct 2008 17:05:33 +0100 a-n rss generator a-n The Artists Information Company and contributors edit@a-n.co.uk technical@a-n.co.uk http://sites.a-n.co.uk/img/logo.gif http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 Things I get into character for. I am sure I remember a time when I was just comfortable being An Artist, and it felt quite natural. I don’t think it was ever easy, but it was what I was happy Being. But memory is a funny thing – memories of how I Felt at any one time seem to change depending on any number of variables. I hope that makes me Interesting not fickle. I think one of the main qualities in An Artist is finding things Interesting. I am especially interested in Memory at the moment. Memories are unstable, unreliable and messy.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 'Too many things squashed into a small space.'  I’ve spent an enormous amount of time trying to work out what is the right Question to ask. I feel like I need a clear line of enquiry, to really distil what I want to say. I've Thought about it hard for two weeks. Or, at least, it's churned round in my head for two weeks, squeezing it's way in between the hundreds of tedious daily tasks that occupy most of my time. Proper Thoughts get squashed out during school holidays, by squabbling, shrieking, questioning children, piles of washing, toys, preparing meals and organising outings. But the Thoughts lurk around the edges of my mind, biding their time until they can get a proper hold of me. Chewing away at the problem.  I’m feeling dejected because now I realise the only Question I can come up with so far, is the same question that all the Other Mothers bang on about constantly. How can I fit all my jobs into one day, the days just aren’t long enough etc. Got to go now - youngest daughter crying. This is the fairly uninspiring bottom line.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 VertigoLots of things have been happening... here's the context to the story. We are moving from Scarborough to West Yorkshire (hopefully to a village called Honley, near Huddersfield, if we ever find a decent house to rent). This is because my partner's got a job in Dewsbury. I don't know anyone there so I am quite scared and excited.My landlady wants me to organise appointments for estate agents, HIP assessors etc. She lives in France and wants to sell the house. I wish I hadn't been so generous in the amount of notice I gave her about our move. She could still be blissfully unaware, and I could stay submerged in the never ending tide of mess and chaos in the house. My partner is in Iceland for a week and I have just spend 2 days completely housebound with my youngest daughter - she's had a stomach bug. It's made me feel quite shut down - too much time inside my own head, unable to do anything with any of my thoughts. If I get up to get something from the other side of the room, she jumps up and clings on to me, 24hours a day. I've had to cancel a meeting at Scarborough Art Gallery, after spending every spare minute preparing images and notes to show them. I've also missed the Lonely Arts Lunch - a rare opportunity to get together with other isolated creatives in the Borough. Young Daughter (6) said 'mum, I've got a feeling and I don't know what it's for, and I don't know where the feeling is.' I couldn't put it better myself. She's getting better now; 'it's like I've jumped on 500 trampolines straight after dinner'.I'm perpetually worried about money, and rent is more expensive in West Yorkshire. As a result I've taken on lots of work, and now it's all whirling round my head all the time. I have freelance a contract with Creative Partnerships Hull, as a Creative Agent, brokering relationships between 4 schools and various creative practitioners (artists). I've just taken on a contract with engage co-ordinating the final stages of their envision programme - it's hard picking up someone elses job half way through, but it's really interesting work. I teach short courses, 'Community Art Skills' and 'Unlock your Creativity' for University of Hull. It doesn't sound much when you see it written like that, but it feels like a lot. I've been diagnosed with vertigo! I think it sounds almost exotic, so maybe I can sort of get to like it. I keep feeling all swimmy and wonky. Apparently it can be triggered by a virus or by stress.  Apparently it should go away within six weeks.Finally - wait for it - this is the biggee... I've just heard about my ACE bid for £10,400 for professional development I got the money - WAHOO! What a fantastic endorsement of my work, my ideas. It's all worthwhile.So - that's the context. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 The content (or Why I Do It) I think ‘the context’ (or all the Other Stuff in my life) is a necessary but awkward part of my life as an Artist. Rachel the Artist and Rachel the Mother are not separate beings, they infect and influence each other. Yet it feels difficult to acknowledge this, in an art market that caters for artists who can sacrifice their daily life at the drop of a hat to take on a new residency or project, to the detriment of all else. It’s as if having children automatically makes you less committed to your work. I have a fear that mentioning my personal circumstances could trigger a chain reaction of responses – I will be dismissed as a tedious feminist artist, probably making art as therapy.  I also think that if something seems to be taboo, that’s probably the best reason for talking about it, so that’s why I’ve made it a central factor in my blog. I want to open up the conflict I experience between my creative ambition and my commitment to my family.  Writing down the Other Stuff is Important for the function of the blog; it helps me Remember what I’ve done and feel comfortable and satisfied with my own achievements. It can be difficult to Remember what has actually changed when periods of studio time are erratic and disjointed. Some days I have to have an argument with myself to get over the guilt I feel for playing/working in my studio instead of chopping vegetables for tea. .. I imagine my children with rickets and put more fruit in their lunchboxes – it comes back bruised and uneaten… The act of writing this blog helps me to focus on the positive. I will log my progress as an artist, chart the movement of ideas and actions, and include edited images which function as my sketchbook.  Ps. Just to keep you up to date on the context - been up all night with Older Daughter while she threw up – you can probably picture the serene and satisfied vision of motherhood that I encapsulate today, only improved by the faint aroma of vomit on the carpet.  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 I’ve been collecting the sweepings off the kitchen floor, the dust off all the surfaces, the stuff out of the hoover, and gak out of the plug hole. It’s all in preserving jars on the kitchen window sill.   The landlady looked but didn’t mention it. I think she just blanked it out. Lots of people seem to do that.  I overheard Older Daughter say to her friend ‘I dunno – it’s probably just mum’s art.’ She watched me make it but knows better than to ask why. It could unleash a tirade about Housework, and she likes to avoid those conversations. It’s really interesting to see who notices, who dares to ask about it, how people respond...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 I cleared some boxes of junk from my in-laws garage yesterday.. old school books mainly. At the bottom of one box I found the first knitted sculpture I ever made, during my degree.  I had an appalling relationship with my tutor at the time. I vividly remember how he picked it up as though it was disgusting, and tossed in the bin, saying 'what are we playing at now then Rachel?' 15 years later I plucked up the courage to start knitting again. Here's one of my recent knitted pieces. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 I chatted to one of the Other Mothers in the playground this morning. She asked what I’ve been up to and I told her I’m making a film for a show at Scarborough Art Gallery Coffee Lounge. She said;  ‘but why would you spend all that time doing that? If it doesn’t earn you money and it doesn’t get the house tidy, I just don’t get why you do it…’I couldn't really answer her in a way that she would understand, and got a bit embarassed. I laughed and muttered something about how I know it's quite ridiculous. When I get home I feel angry that I undervalued my work, that I didn't defend my right to be different. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 We are relocating from Scarborough to Holmfirth. Moving next week. It's a nightmare. Enough of that though, I think it's time to focus on the art... if I don't do that here, it won't happen at all at the moment.I've actually made a lot of progress with the piece I am making for Scarborough Art Gallery, but somehow I never get round to talking about it in my blog. In fact it's quite fascinating to observe how my default position is to avoid talking about my work in any circumstance. Particularly when I talk to curators, exhibition officers, anyone who would really like to hear a bit more about why I do it. I have an impressive range of techniques for giving the whole subject the bodyswerve. Like now for example, rambling on like this.OK, I'll do the easy bit first - a list of the various elements of the piece; There are the 'preserving jars' of dust and dirt, on the shelves of an old oak(?) wardrobe. I've made a felt 'pinny' which is hanging in the wardrobe, and I've done a film test of myself 'doing things' in a corner of the gallery. I'm going to project the film back onto the same gallery space. I need to think a bit more precisely about what I will do and wear in the film.  I think I'll avoid talking about what it's about for a bit longer and bite the bullet next post. Let's not over do it after all - otherwise I'll need a lie-down and there's no time for that! ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 moving house is bad. never mind losing the thread, I've lost the whole reel. It'll be in one of these b***** boxes... Service will resume shortly.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 Alongside moving house, settling (resistant) daughters into new home and school, and facing up to the fact that every task involves a 20 minute search through several large cardboard boxes, I’ve been struggling to provide Scarborough Art Gallery with some blurb and an image for their publicity leaflet.   I’ve just been told that as the leaflet has been redesigned, an image may not be included. I knew there were changes afoot– the gallery is in the process of becoming part of a Trust, instead of Scarborough Borough Council, so they will be dealing with all sorts of new procedures and other changes. The staff are being very helpful and supportive, so I just hope my image goes in! As for the blurb, it took me a ridiculously long time to condense my ideas for the work into two sentences, and now that’s been cut in half… Lara, the Curator of Art has worked with me to develop a good ‘one sentence’ statement instead. I guess I can make use of the second sentence here, as an introduction to talking about the work. It will also come in handy for preview invites and publicity releases, so it was a worthwhile exercise. 'Left Behind' 19 July – 19 October 2008Video projection, textiles and dust-filled jam jars are delicately brought together in this new work created especially for the Coffee Lounge.  'Left Behind' was made in response to the semi-domestic space of the coffee lounge and explores the visible and invisible traces we leave behind in our every day lives.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 Feel like I'm juggling jelly at the moment. Spent most of the day so far trying to allocate time in my diary to get everything done. The main complication as ever is finding childcare to fit around erratic and irregular working patterns. I have two freelance consultancy jobs for Creative Partnerhsips and engage vying for position, and lots of trips to Scarborough to fit in, to make and instal the show. Then I get sucked into emailing local arts organisations in a bid to start networking in my new area. Which reminds me that I still haven't told the bank that I've moved, etc etc...When is it ever About the Art? Rob Turner commented on one of my posts that the art will find a way of escaping, and it will make sense of itself in the end. I felt a bit prickly when i first read it - like I KNOW THAT thankyou - but his words have stayed in my head, and have ultimately been quite reassuring - cheers, and sorry for the private grump! I've remembered that it's About the Art when I'm gnawing away at a tricky problem with siting the projector in the gallery, or when I'm reading other blogs and feeling connected to my artist self, or when I'm just looking at things with Interest. Making-time in the studio is a tiny part of it and that's OK.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 I’ve been thinking about the performance element of ‘Left Behind’ today. I’ve made a test piece to make sure that I can achieve the right effect technically – but the actual performance or action remains vague. Here are my current ideas: I know that I want to embody the character of a woman who is looking for a way for a change to happen. The film is silent, so she has no voice, and perhaps a limited sense of her options. She is carrying heavy shopping bags full of grit and salt, and sits in the coffee lounge initially looking defeated. I want her to go on a quiet internal journey, and then to leave the gallery. The film will be projected onto the corner of the gallery where it was filmed, so it produces a life size but insubstantial character in the room. There are so many layers and levels of thought involved in this part of the installation – the more research and thought I give it, the more paralysed I feel. I know that ultimately I need to let go of all the rational cerebral processes, and do what feels right, but I don’t know what that is at the moment, so it’s a bit nerve-wracking. I think I’m feeling a bit uptight since moving house and meeting work deadlines (for Creative Partnerships and engage) so I can’t easily shift into the soft focus state I need to really work creatively.  This is a constant challenge for me (and probably other artists?) – managing the shift from being an effective functioning person who understands and can conform to the things that most people see as important – punctuality, clarity, reliability, meeting deadlines, sticking to plans – and being able to shift into a state where none of these things restrict your sense of creative possibilities.  I'm filming at the gallery on 23rd June, so it'd better come together then!... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 I’m giving a talk at the gallery on 25 July. I’ve been thinking about how I can talk about this piece of work in a way that leaves space for people to make their own mind up. My practise involves a period of research, a period of inhabiting the world through the eyes of the latest idea, then investing meaning in the piece through the making process. By the end I feel I want to explain it all, and have trouble letting it stand alone. I suspect this is also the product of 15years of involvement in community arts; it’s become part of the fibre of my being to consider accessibility in everything I do. Yet I really like looking at work that is difficult, even impenetrable. I have to consciously remember to be lateral and open ended, to enjoy ambiguity.  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 Here are some of the thoughts that drift through my mind when I am working on ‘Left Behind’... (it’s difficult to remember many of my thoughts, like when you wake from a dream and it dissolves before you grasp it, but I see this as a sign that I have let go of my logical thought processes, and I welcome that)  –         the debris that gets left behind by our activities (dust, stains, dirt) – aspirations and daydreams as we wash the dirt and sweat, out of our clothes, making them anonymous and empty again -  longing -  wiping surfaces, tears, bottoms – creating order out of chaos, totally fulfilled – trapped in a loop of repetitive activity, feeling angry resentful and bitter - clean, scrub, fret about stains, worry what judgements others will make – houseproud means wholesome – cleaning is pointless circular - trying to remove evidence - trying to reach the other side– to feel in control – linked to generations of housewives who clear it all up - invisible workforce of cleaners who remove all traces of our time in our offices, on trains and buses, in cafes and restaurants, at cinemas – get rid of anything that reveals vulnerability – messy drippy tears, snot bubbles, leaky bladders, crumbs – don’t make a fuss – wash your face you’ll feel better – if you pretend you are ok, you are ok.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 You know that feeling you have when you just 'can't put your finger on it'? I'm really enjoying that feeling today. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 I spent a day filming the performance element of 'Left Behind' at Scarborough Art Gallery on Monday. What a day! It came hot on the heels of a wedding and late night partying on Saturday, in the Midlands (on my own with the girls' as partner was ill), and a birthday party in Scarborough for eldest daughter on Sunday. Felt really tired and disorientated, and fired up with nerves and adrenalin. My long suffering partner (who would marry an artist?) got off his sick bed and travelled to Scarborough to help with all the technical stuff and document the process.I characteristically bounced between the full range of emotions at a rate of knots, while he ignored everything but the stuff relevant to the job in hand. It's an impressive skill he has developed, to avoid getting sucked into the drama, while I veer from thinking this is the best piece I've ever made, to thinking it's such a failure I'm embarassed to show it. Hopefully it's somewhere in the middle and will all be fine in the end.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 Today was totally rubbish. It's true you should be careful what you wish for, because I've just had three uninterupted days to devote to my studio practise, and it culminated in a guilt ridden grump of a day, doing nothing useful and feeling bad about it. no pleasing some people... ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 Lots and nothing happening at the moment. Went to see MA show in Leeds, and Cy Twombly and RA shows in London. These trips stimulated new thoughts, and opened my world again a bit - need to do this regularly. Spending more time than normal staring into space or simulating busyness, or redesigning my lists of tasks, none of which makes me feel particularly satisfied, but is quite compulsive behaviour. Then - the odd breakthrough, a movement into activity...started collecting bits of..... hmm, not sure how to describe this - things like stray eyelashes, bogeys, flap of skin from a blister... are they bits of body? traces we leave behind, evidence of experiences, stains... I got some tiny resealable clear bags and an index card system to record them. My camera is in my studio and the work is at home, so will get a photo organised soon.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 I'm finding it hard to settle in to my new life in West Yorkshire. It felt like a holiday for ages, now the reality has hit and I feel a bit lonely. I think it's a delayed reaction, after keeping it together while the daughters got settled. I'm amazed how much I am defined by my friends, and their knowledge and affirmation of who I am. I know how to act with them, and they know how to respond to me, so everything is more solid with them. Now I feel like I'm losing my edges a bit, retreating inwards.So it's all the more poignant to be spending the week making final preparations to instal 'Left Behind' at Scarborough Art Gallery on Thursday... setting up a projected image of myself doing slightly peculiar things in the corner of a gallery where I used to spend a lot of time in my old life. I started making this work before I knew we were moving - so now there is a new layer of meaning to this ghost-like mischievous character flickering in the corner of the gallery.I'm glad she became a mischievous character, rather than a defeated one (which is how she started out). Just hope it all looks the way I imagined it when I get it all in the gallery, and  I can cope with the nerves until after the preview. ps. unison strike clashes with exhibition installation day, and partner is on an overnight work thing, so daughters have to come to Scarb too. They think the video projection is embarassing and galleries boring. Ace. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 Well, it’s finally all been happening, and I haven’t had a minute to blog – so now I’ve paid for an afternoon’s childcare and resisted my daughters pleas to stay with me (apparently they would rather ‘do anything, even jobs, than go to summer playschemes’ which they ‘really hate’). So I’m in my studio enjoying a few hours to myself and looking back at recent events. Here’s an update I set up the installation, feeling really anxious about how it would all come together. It took ages to get the projected image to line up exactly with the table and chairs in the corner of the gallery. The projector is housed inside an old leather suitcase, and needed propping up at a steep angle to get the right effect. I finally got it all sorted and left, hoping that I had left enough air vents for the projector, otherwise it’ll overheat and cut out. The next day I was working for Creative Partnerships  in Hull and got a phone call from the gallery saying that all my equipment had failed. Aaagh… spent a sleepless night worrying about it, how can two new pieces of kit both break simultaneously?, is it a fuse, has the projector overheated, has the bulb blown, if so why doesn’t the DVD player work… Returned first thing the next morning armed with toolbox and production manager (aka my partner). Turned everything on – it worked fine! Although the projected image was now pointing at the ceiling. I think the gallery had PAT tested my equipment, and moved everything around – I wonder whether the projector had been put back in such a way that it was no longer lined up with the air vents? Anyway, we rigged everything up more securely – a much easier job with two people, and to be honest and my partner is better at technical construction stuff than I am. Anyway, I was just pleased it was all up and running again in time for the preview -  which was great – it was well attended and the work was well received. Phew! ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 The artists talk I returned to Scarborough a week later, full of renewed trepidation about my talk. I hadn’t had time to think about it as the last few days of the school term had taken over my brain (remembering which of my daughters needs money for trips, party food, non-uniform days, leavers assembly blah blah and simultaneously completing paperwork for two schools I have been working with in Hull by end of term). My artists talk had receded into the background for a week and now it was suddenly happening… I’ve been thinking around the issue for months, but never drawing any conclusions about how to tackle it. The night before I travelled to Scarborough, amidst organising appointments for daughters to visit old friends in Scarb I realised there was one easy way to remember what it’s all about - scour my blog for clues. That helped. A bit.  In the end I met my mum and dad in the coffee lounge at 11am, handed over the daughters to their care, resisted the temptation to internally agitate about my dad’s silent frown as he looked at the honey dripping in the wardrobe, tried and failed to concentrate on his optimistic note in the comments book (‘you’ll be famous one day Rach), and spent an hour with a pen and scrap of paper making a few notes.  Plenty of people turned up, and pleasingly there were only a couple of friends and supporters – the rest were independently interested! I decided to do what I do on the blog – illuminate the context for the work, rather than try to explain the work itself.  So a few autobiographical anecdotes later, we were all involved in a fascinating discussion about the piece, and most of the comments resonated strongly with my feelings about it. I was elated. Equally importantly, I had, once again talked about my work without talking about my work, and everyone agreed it was the best plan! ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 It's been a funny few weeks. The exhibition is ticking along without me now, and it's school holidays so my mind is consumed with stuff children need. I can't even specify what it is that fills the day, but it makes my thoughts feel like they are dipped in blancmange. Not unpleasant but not going anywhere.  I had a great review written about 'Left Behind' -www.hightidemagazine.com - so that's a buzz. I plan to make a book documenting the piece, and I need to start making plans for my next commission - an  installation for 'Coastival' in Scarborough.But I just can not work out how to keep mum and artist going at the same time - to be honest I'm knackered from trying. They are two different people, and neither one cares about the other that much. By the way, for the record, I am (so far) not suffering from a personality disorder. This is something different.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 I've snatched/ demanded a few hours in my studio after having a minor rant about how much f****ing domestic work I do at home and how much I resent it. Partner pointed out that in some ways I am very priviledged to be able to spend 6 weeks at home with the daughters while he has to work. Pile on the guilt I think. There's nothing more frustrating than being told why you should be enjoying something when in all honesty you just don't feel satisfied by 'bottoming out the wash basket'. Whatever the F*** that is. It's all the rage round here though if local mums are to be believed. Hrmph. Not sure how to use these precious few hours now, and if I make the wrong decision I will feel even more resentful. I need a sense of achievement before 4pm. Here are my options (after all, when in doubt, waste more time writing and prioritising a list I always say).1. Design and make a very beautiful rota detailing all the domestic chores, how often they need doing, and divide them between household members using a proportionate system depending on how much time they have available - might need help with the maths for this.2. make a beautiful silk and felt scarf for my friend Kath who is 40 soon.3. rummage through the big pile of notes, drawings, and rambles that I have collected over the last 15 years - I think they are going to be the starting point for a new project.4. Use the big shared warehouse space while there's no-one in to look at some of the 25' long felt pieces I've been working on.On balance I think the scarf is the winner on this occasion - the other ideas are too big and I'm learning not to set myself up for failure.  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 I just want to say that I've also had some wonderful moments recently in relation to making art. I saw Pipilotti Rist at FACT which set my mind firing off in lots of directions - loved it : I've had a good response from Wendy Clews, (Director of Create in Scarborough) to my proposal for a new installation in a hotel room for Coastival: I've got an idea for my next piece  of work as part of my ACE funded research and am looking forward to collaborating  with Rob  McKay, sound artist as part of this research. Maybe I should stop being such a moaning old bag and enjoy this time of plenty while it's here! ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845  Just got back from a brilliant week in a bunk barn in South West Lakes. Bought 4 raw fleeces from the farmer, so got a big job ahead to process the wool - never done it before, although I got some idea what to do when I was in Kyrgyzstan.I'm back in the studio reviewing what happened last time. After all that wittering on, I am pleased to say I got stuck into a new big project instead of making a scarf. Getting started is always the hardest bit, so at least now I've got something to sit and stare at and respond to. I seem to do lots of displacement activities (is that the right term for it?) - buying new materials, researching processes, reading related stuff, the time never seems right to actually start making. Then all of a sudden it will take off and I won't be able to stop til I drop. I'm not at that stage yet though - I'm making a felt house (about the size of a garden gazebo), and am doing lots of research about how to put text and drawings onto the felt. Also continuing experiments with varied translucency/density of felt and projected video. I feel lucky to be an artist today.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 Nothing to report.  Starting to feel self conscious about having nothing whatsoever to say about anything. just busy and tired. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845 if you had all the freedom and no restriction, what would the most fulfilling experience be?  I feel like I inhabit the edges of my life instead of the core at the moment.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 01:00:00 +0100 http://sites.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/408845