ARTISTS TALKING

# 56 [29 February 2008]

And here is a glimpse of my journey by train across Eastern Europe... the photographs go along with my blog post of the 26th of january...

These photographs are taken from a cold train between Serbia and Bulgaria, around sunrise, only few hours before arriving in Sofia... which felt like arriving in another decade...

My form of time travel... 

# 55 [29 February 2008]

I love John Cage so much....

It's been a week and a half:

two relationship dramas, a trip to London, sleeping on a sofa in meat smells (being vegetarian those smells displease me), but sleeping soundly and as deep as not in months, attending an interview at the Royal College of Art for the sculpture MA, being greeted by a panel of  5 (yes 5!), freezing and de-freezing and re-freezing and sort of feeling that I pulled a corner and did ok, but certainly not flawlessly..

Traveling back to Liverpool, deciding against a cat; at least for now; having 2 glasses of wine and inspiring late evening conversations about the power of books, sleeping, exhaustion, more relationship traumas, more sleeping, e-mails and an invitation to attend an interview at Goldsmiths University, the e-mail which I nearly deleted because it looked like one of those overseas get rich quick scheme e-mails... 

Ah, and I attended the Liverpool AIR event, which gave us all an opportunity to hear Leo Fitzmaurice and 
Kai Oi Jay Yung talk about their respective paths that lead them from some time past to their art practice today. Leo's talk was great and engaging and I am very glad that I finally got an opportunity to meet him, just he was also absolutely out-charmed by Jay, who has a rare gift to enchant with her way of speaking about her work as well as a particularly shining personality. You may argue: "What has personality got to do with it, it is the art that should speak for itself.." But I would disagree with that, I think it is as much about the artist as it is about the art. Especially when it comes to someone like Jay. From my perspective she kind of merges with her work and becomes an inseparable part of it. I hope she will maintain her current momentum of the last years. I think she just might have a lot of future in her...

Then I won a ticket for a John Cage event...

...at first I leap in the air with joy, then realize that the event is in less than 24 hours.. Being upset.

Just that there is work to finish and to get into the post in time to make sure an application for a residency reaches its destination in time. And I can't sensibly attend a funeral then start and finish an application and drive up to the Baltic in one day. Well, it's just that the residency is one that I would absolutely love to be chosen for, so a rushed application probably will not help the matter... Art Sway! Could someone please tell them how brilliant I would be?

I hope they will give my won ticket to any poor student on the door. It is especially disappointing since I hadn't won anything in such a long time, the last time was when I won a Coca Cola picnic cooler bag, long before I took objection to Coca Cola...

And I love John Cage so much!

# 54 [22 February 2008]

I am amused and it is quite interesting how just because I have started a project on Sisyphus I somehow am finding myself researching clay pits in England... 

I am currently writing the first budget for the project.

Compared to how long it took to start active steps to realize past project ideas after their initial hatching; my response time has increased considerably. 

Bravo to me. 

Current projects are:

the one about Sisyphus

performance/film/installation/intervention/sculpture

Khoreia (in collaboration with Steve Boyland)  

film/installation/collaboration 

7 Giants (foresters highseats dislocated) 

sculpture/installation/sound

Idioms in translation              

installation/photography/film/drawing 

These are not necessarily the actual titles of the projects in progress but one has to call them something while they are in the making...

# 53 [26 January 2008]

!!!  continued from post 54 !!!:

... walking in knee-deep snow with heavy luggage, putting a wild dog in his place, making decisions, making not enough decisions, looking for answers, finding more questions, chance meeting with mystical figures from the past, unlikely arrivals in hidden places just in time for most beautiful rituals, finding needles in haystacks and I wasn't even looking, standing for an hour in a ceremony that told me I was in the late Middle Ages, perhaps the 16th century or so, learnt that 4 is 2 and that friendly helpers have motives I never understood, the only woman on this carriage was me and so I received special treatment and a compartment all to myself, the sink froze shut that night, much maneouvering of the train, back and forth and back and forth four times before all the carriages were re-connected in the correct way, where would mine go..? Did they get it right or would I wake up in Greece instead of en route on the tracks to Istanbul?? Careful glimpsing out of the windows not wanting to provoke a border-patrol as I had inadvertently done somewhere between Serbia and Bulgaria, resulting in sharp bangs on my window and mean looks worrying me if it was an imprisonable offence, uncomfortable registering of the deep snow in which I could just disappear until the big thawing in march or so, blue, deep frozen, freeze dried and who would ever know?

... eventually arriving in Istanbul two hours after the first onset of train-fatigue, luckily the sink un-froze around the same time of the first sign of train fatigue (the exit end was frozen up and closed leaving me with sloshing, sloshing, sloshing water..)... beautiful sunshine, spending time, weeks, too much bread, not enough tea without sugar, eyes opening to the realities of our world of differences, East and West so bloddy far apart, cultural gaps greater than diplomacy perhaps... The deep discomfort of the new understanding, some hopelessness for the first time in life, maybe the populations of the world will never unite harmonically, feeling disturbed by the divide that faith causes, would one god allow his creations to be so pained in discord? Can I believe that? 

...Whirling Dervishes, grilled fish sandwiches, a lot of walking, some art, meeting successful photographer through a director/curator, being invited to show in Ankara and at a new Turkish Biennale this August, friendly independent cats, over-friendly employees trying too hard to recruit our custom, some late sunshine, much delicious baked rice pudding, sad departures, return to flooded kitchen and broken fridge, how come breakdowns don't come in individual packages, 2 at the time of one... lots of disinfectant and now I am here, gazing through my window, into a sunny world. Time to re-join that life here. 

I discovered Roibush and Vanilla tea, my inexplicably huge comfort. Welcome home to me. How is the world from your window? 

# 52 [26 January 2008]

... coincidences and planned occurrences.../ shape-shifting and soul-changing

...trains through snowy landscapes, passing friendships that last as long as the time to the next destination, many night-time border-crossings, feeling timeless, feeling at the mercy of fate, feeling the wild bandits lurking in the forests and I am sure they watch me from their hiding places, from their spots just behind the dark foliage of that dense pine forest wilderness.... Bandits posing as border control, my final disappearance only prevented by someone's last minute change of mind, but of course I have no proof of any of this.. After all they pretended to be border control, didn't give away their bandit identity with passes and formal introductions...

I arrived in Sofia, "Time present and time past, are both perhaps present in time future and time future contained in time past.." .."..all time eternally present.." , yes T.S. Eliot, I agree, time past was there with me in time present... We shook hands when I stepped off the train onto a, communist grey, communist imprinted, now democratic new European Sofia central station platform.... and still the scent of the past is so strong, it is more present then the air of a fresh 2008 we would suppose, would expect to smell like. I couldn't smell 2008 but a lot of 1988. So again I found myself time traveling... See I am living proof time travel is possible, and it does leave a lasting effect on one's heart and bodily tissues, but not the effect that an astronaut might experience, somehow it's different. One's soul changes. A nip and a tuck on the tissue here and there, not performed by skilled surgeon's hands but by time, by traveling from this zone to another, by crossing human realities, intangible forms, shape shifting as I go along, leaving me changed irreversibly forever...

# 51 [30 December 2007]

I have finally seen sense and will go to buy a copy of Thomas Cooks European Rail timetable. What was I thinking when I didn't do that sooner..?

And I will also book two hotels, the first one for Belgium on my first day of travel and the second hotel for my point of arrival in Istanbul.

Still too much to do to get ready, too little prepared, and the borrowed car was broken into.

The suitcase containing too many kilograms of camera kit and cables to ever stand a chance at even the first train change.

# 50 [26 December 2007]

In true festive spirit I have spent a lot of time this evening talking about my work and found myself discussing the production of my work, not the making... If that makes any sense..

Producing / making = producing as in the practical side of things, the part minus romance and inspiration but with hard facts and ways to impress my competence on potential investors.. Brrrr... Not exactly Christmas talk..

No sign of discussing shepherds but how to show my work and methods as strong and as a 'safe bet' for potential exhibitors.

Well....

I am of course marvelous. But it appears that's not enough.

So to everyone else: the message is: make it clear if you have had any funding/support for any part of your present or previous work. I somehow just assumed that the art speaks for itself, and that me having shown the art will also speak for itself. But of course: how does anyone know that you can meet your deadline? How would anyone know that other people have confidence in you (me)... They need to be told. And it is actually pretty obvious, but I had left that aspect out of my recent applications. So there is some work for me before I leave for Istanbul.

And here is a toast to my learning curve...

Happy Christmas Everyone. xxx

# 49 [25 November 2007]

The collaborative event with "Lost Voices" in the View Two Gallery on Matthew Street in Liverpool (on the 22nd of November):

...went quite well...

# 48 [7 November 2007]

...Working progress presentation with Lost Voices, in St Bride's Church on saturday evening..- 6pm-9pm
The musicians will improvise in relation to 5 monitors showing Sections of my "Devotional Choreographies" project from earllier this year.
We are planning a collaboration and are taking this as an early step in the process. (After inumerable dialogues..)

# 47 [22 October 2007]

…I have two…

…square eyes...

…but for my labours also a bag full of useful websites...

...I am floating in a bubble of excellent information…

…let the waters break, it's time for the delivery of this overdue art baby…

…come on out screaming and squelching…

…it's time these ideas saw the light of day and got out of their nice warm womb, enough of this comfort! I say go to the workhouse and get producing!!

…these ideas seem to think that it's ok to just stay in the warm and safe forever. …but no more of that. Out with it. Out into the wintery nights…

In fact send that idea onto the next street-corner, red light... it's about time it did something to pay for it's upkeep, I have been nurturing it for long enough…

Time to get real… feet on the ground... and all that…

But first some sleep, and the hope that the enthusiasm wakes up at the same time as I, tomorrow.