ARTISTS TALKING

# 6 [9 March 2008]

what happen's when you disrupt the everyday?

i' m hoping i will liberate myself, i have actually already liberated myself, i did that in 2006 when i ran down totnes highstreet naked, it was the look on the granny's faces as i ran past the bus stop that did it. did what? liberated me. i dont know what liberated means let me just check in my dictionary.

free from a situation, esp. imprisonment or slavery, in which their liberty is severely restricted :

ah yes, no i was definately liberated that day. so i have already done that so that's not what i'm hoping to do, actually i think it was when i liberated myself that i started to go a little bit mad.

i m going to liberate other people of there everyday routine. i want to provoke people to think in my head for a few minute's. that sound's very vain. why? because i am always right, i am the daughter of god! i really believe that i am right about everything but surely everybody does. i had a sudden thought last night i thought the earth was the garden of eden, it was full of beuty and everything you need to survive and look what we have done to it. i'm sorry god for what ive done to the beautiful world.

ok so my work is built on the clown techniques of reacting to impulse, my impulses are true, they are neither right nor wrong. people won't think there wrong. they might think it's a load of bollocks though. but i will liberate them if only for a few minute's. i will disrupt them. i will disrupt this society thats built on exploitation. i might provoce a revolution, but let's be honest it's highly unlikely. my revolution will be in me.  

what happen's when you disrupt the everyday?

nothing, everything. maybe someone will come see my performance and they will remember it forever. maybe i won't decline into madness, maybe ill change the world, no i will change the world in fact i'm just going to change the world now quickly,...........i just moved an empty bag of sweet on the floor of my living room a few inches to the left. now the world is different. 

# 5 [9 March 2008]

i 'm a vain mother fucker

why does noone ever use the swear word son of a bitch.

costume's are difficult i put myself in a bloody good costume if you don't mind me saying so. however i have to dress my steward and i have to dress them so that people want to be near them and get into my tent, i'm thinking yellow. but when you start fixating on one thing, bad things might happen. i'm definately thinking yellow though. yellow, yellow, yellow. 

i feel quite excited about this work, i think it might be the only thing i have ever made that i like, although once i did a painting of the last judgement in Technicolor that was pretty cool. i know i have done some stuff that's technically good. but i fucking hate the lot of it. i like this, which means everyone else will probably hate it. but i did it and doing it satisfies my soul.

so on tuesday i am going to be in my installation in the rain, in bloody brilliant costume for two and half hours waiting for someone to join me. 

# 4 [8 March 2008]

i'm waiting for tuesday to happen. hopefully it's not going to rain

what happens when you disrupt the mechanical routine of the everyday?

 Totnes has much less of a routine than most places.

i did a performance in the rhubarb cafe in plymouth last night. i did some clown stuff , i don't think british people get the clown as much as European's. my clown is such a misfit. i wish everyone were clown, chris the clown said that we'd live for free.

i feel so young and radical, i know i'm going to look back on the phase that i'm going through right now in 30 years and think, what a prat i was back then.

i'm a very serious clown, the only thing that makes me a clown is that i look so stupid. and i don't mind being laughed at. i like it when people laugh at me. my academic work is beginning to bother me. because i'm beginning to take myself too seriously. i 'm even taking the fact that i 'm taking my self too seriously, seriously. 

so what's the next question

maybe can the clown be political?

the act of being non-political is very political.

lets read tricks of the trade first. 

and perhaps maybe what happens in intimate spaces?

not such a good question, lots of things happen in intimate spaces.

why am i performing in an intimate space?

i want to smell my audience, i want to know them, yet i don't want them to know me, the mask is good for that. they can know some of me but me ideal. yet i will know them real because they will be vulnerable and unsuspecting and there eyes will tell me the truth. should my eye tell the truth, the clown doesn't act. i'm so good at acting that noone notices that I'm acting and they all think that this is me. god that was easier in spain where i couldn't and didn't talk, and everybody could see me as a nice stupid funny clown, and when i come here everybody is exposed to my verbal diarrhea, all of sudden i'm not as stupid or funny anymore. and i did get angry once in barcelona when i was called stupid. i love it and i hate it. it is such a gift to have a stupid face like mine.  like for instance i got pulled over for speeding today and i just gave the policeman a really vacant smile and told him that i was dying for the toilet and he let me go.

# 3 [5 March 2008]

 i have realized how much i need to conform to be able to protest. to carry out my work there are endless health and safety forms, i have to ask permission. and i am carrying out these tasks. i am behaving and my behaving is a contradiction to the statement i am making, yet i love the irony. the very nature of the way i behave is hypocritical. my protest against the everyday, is the everyday. i think i can almost live with that as my behavior reflects that of the civilized people in general. and i like to feel that i am not disappearing. 

# 2 [4 March 2008]

pooooooooooooo

# 1 [3 March 2008]

The mechanical routine of every day life is beginning to bore me. people walk.

something is not right i feel like i want to climb a tree and do a mating call, or else hunt down a pig or something. The industrialization of the world only started less than three hundred year's ago yet i feel vulnreble if i leave my house without my mobile phone. i sit on my sofa and burn the earth's natural resource's at a significant cost to the natural enviroment. and i pay to go to a gym to waste the natural energy that has been provided for my survival. 

The human race has undoubtedly lost touch with their natural instinct's because the world that we have built inside the world is not our natural environment.

as i say the mechanical routine of everyday is beggining to bore me. Part of me wants to experience what i was built for, but i am lazy. society may have made me this way. or maybe that is the lame excuse of a hypocrite. 

i must admit i enjoy the defects that civilization has allowed me.

i enjoy binge drinking and harry potter.

the rest is all superficial.